Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #8 - "Because of the angels:" - 1 Corinthians 11:10

"Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels." - 1 Corinthians 11:10

Uh, what?

Occasionally St. Paul likes to crank out one of these anecdotal little statements which anybody in 1st century Corinth would have said, "Oh, sure" to, but makes us say - "Uh, what?"

What makes this one really fun is that last little phrase, "because of the angels." If you look at ten different commentaries on this verse, you're going to get ten different interpretations. The moral of that story is - no one has any idea what this verse means, so it's open season! Fortunately, it doesn't have anything to do with essential doctrine, so it's ok that we don't understand it. But we're gonna give it a shot anyway.

As we have discussed previously, the Bible talks a lot about angels, but not so much in the way of explanation. So here's my groundless, completely made up exegesis of this passage:

It is common to the point of ubiquity to portray angels in sculpture and painted art with pretty hair. From earliest times to the Renaissance, angels are pictured with luscious locks, adorned with manes worthy of a Garnier Fructis commercial. The most logical explanation is that angels, for all that they are powerful agents of God, are obsessed with hair care. Women should cover their heads when praying or prophesying in order to prevent the heavenly servants of the Lord from being distracted by their hairstyles. What would be worse than to have a squadron of the heavenly host assigned to your worship service, and for their work to be distracted by Sister Agatha's newly teased pompadour? Suddenly the armies of heaven are transformed into gossipy old ladies, trading tips on how to use a flaming sword as a hair straightener, and asking why the Angel of Death can't add some highlights and liven up a bit. Therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head - whether stovepipe hat, big furry Russian Cossack hat, or Napoleon-style 18th century French army hat - because of the angels. Angels do not care about hats, as their halos prevent them from wearing any.