The recent death of Paul Newman made me start thinking back on great movies I had seen him in (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sting), and ones I haven’t seen and really need to (Cool Hand Luke). I also remembered the last movie I saw him in was the excellent Road to Perdition, with Tom Hanks and Jude Law. And that led to the recollection that Road to Perdition was originally a comic book.
I have resisted writing about comic books in the past because, well, most people think comic books are dumb. Guys tend to have a more nostalgic attachment to them due to things like Halloween costumes, Underoos, and the Superfriends cartoon which translates into a mild to medium appreciation as adults. But most girls tend to think comic books are dumb. At least, the girl I am married to does.
I’ll probably attempt to explain why I like comic books later, in a very long post in which I will reveal waaaaay too much about myself. Hollywood, at least, is very much in a comic book mood lately – with the highest grossing blockbusters this summer being based directly on comic book characters or on conventions found in them (Iron Man, The Dark Knight, Hancock). But Hollywood has also realized something for a while now that the general population has not – there are more kinds of comic books than superhero comics. It’s just that in general when we think comic books, we think Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, but since the beginning of comic books they have encompassed multiple genres, from Westerns to horror to romance to biography.
So, in the interest of broadening horizons and deepening knowledge – some notable movies based on comic books, arranged by genre, with brief commentary.
The Supernatural:
30 Days of Night – vampires in Alaska!
Constantine – Theology, horror, and superheroes meet at last!
The Crow
More Traditional, But Not As Famous, Super-Heroics:
The Mask – A fine film!
Men In Black
Mystery Men
The Rocketeer – An underrated film, I feel.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Timecop – Van Damme! at the top of his game.
Crime Drama:
Art School Confidential – Art school murder mystery.
From Hell – Johnny Depp, Jack the Ripper, and based on the comic book by Alan Moore, who may be the best comic book writer ever.
A History of Violence – Viggo Mortensen. Be warned – we were expecting the violence – it’s in the title. We weren’t expecting all the sex.
Road to Perdition
Sin City
Wanted – In the original work (which features way too much of – well, everything – the characters are supervillain assassins – you know, with powers and stuff).
Miscellaneous:
300 – Pectoral muscles feature much less strongly in the source material. Both this and Sin City were by Frank Miller, whose "Batman:Year One" was a major influence on Batman Begins.
American Splendor
Ghost World – Scarlett Johanson and Steve Buscemi. Suburban teenage drama.
Persepolis - Academy-award nominated animated movie of the autobiography of an Iranian immigrant.
V for Vendetta – Jeni really liked this one – another Alan Moore piece.
Ones to Look Out For In ’09:
Whiteout – Antarctic murder mystery.
Watchmen – Maybe the best work by the best comic book writer. We’ll see how the movie matches up.
Of course, these are only the English-language movies. There is a whole world of Japanese and European comic books, and comic book movies, that is too vast for me to even try to comprehend. These are also only the movies based on comic books, as opposed to comic strips - like The Addams Family (snap, snap).
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor - The Title in Context
The title of my blog obviously comes from the quote beneath it, which comes from Orthodoxy, Chesterton's "slovenly biography," - his attempt to explain his personal philosophy, how he rejected the Christianity of his youth, subsequently rejected the current philosophies of his day, and found Christianity again standing in answer to them all.
The quote above comes from chapter six - "The Paradoxes of Christianity." Chesterton describes how one of the things that most intrigued him about Christianity later in life was how it was accused of opposite things at the same time. It was accused of being the mother of all wars, and of encouraging some people to ridiculous levels of pacifism. It was accused of making people too pessimistic, and making people too optimistic.
"This began to be alarming. It looked not so much as if Christianity was bad enough to include any vices, but rather as if any stick was good enough to beat Christianity with. What again could this astonishing thing be like which people were so anxious to contradict, that in doing so they did not mind contradicting themselves? I saw the same thing on every side. I can give no further space to this discussion of it in detail; but lest any one supposes that I have unfairly selected three accidental cases I will run briefly through a few others. Thus, certain sceptics wrote that the great crime of Christianity had been its attack on the family; it had dragged women to the loneliness and contemplation of the cloister, away from their homes and their children. But, then, other sceptics (slightly more advanced) said that the great crime of Christianity was forcing the family and marriage upon us; that it doomed women to the drudgery of their homes and children, and forbade them loneliness and contemplation. The charge was actually reversed. Or, again, certain phrases in the Epistles or the marriage service, were said by the anti-Christians to show contempt for woman's intellect. But I found that the anti-Christians themselves had a contempt for woman's intellect; for it was their great sneer at the Church on the Continent that "only women" went to it."
He confesses that this led him at first to the conclusion, not that Christianity was true, but that it was exceedingly strange.
"An historic institution, which never went right, is really quite as much of a miracle as an institution that cannot go wrong. The only explanation which immediately occurred to my mind was that Christianity did not come from heaven, but from hell. Really, if Jesus of Nazareth was not Christ, He must have been Antichrist."
It was the consideration of the Christian approach to virtue that ultimately fostered a new appreciation in Chesterton. Its conception of courage which could condemn the suicide and glorify the martyr, its conception of humility vs. pride that meant, "One can hardly think too little of one's self. One can hardly think too much of one's soul."
And then:
"Take another case: the complicated question of charity, which some highly uncharitable idealists seem to think quite easy. Charity is a paradox, like modesty and courage. Stated baldly, charity certainly means one of two things -- pardoning unpardonable acts, or loving unlovable people. But if we ask ourselves (as we did in the case of pride) what a sensible pagan would feel about such a subject, we shall probably be beginning at the bottom of it. A sensible pagan would say that there were some people one could forgive, and some one couldn't: a slave who stole wine could be laughed at; a slave who betrayed his benefactor could be killed, and cursed even after he was killed. In so far as the act was pardonable, the man was pardonable. That again is rational, and even refreshing; but it is a dilution. It leaves no place for a pure horror of injustice, such as that which is a great beauty in the innocent. And it leaves no place for a mere tenderness for men as men, such as is the whole fascination of the charitable. Christianity came in here as before. It came in startlingly with a sword, and clove one thing from another. It divided the crime from the criminal. The criminal we must forgive unto seventy times seven. The crime we must not forgive at all. It was not enough that slaves who stole wine inspired partly anger and partly kindness. We must be much more angry with theft than before, and yet much kinder to thieves than before. There was room for wrath and love to run wild. And the more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild."
The quote above comes from chapter six - "The Paradoxes of Christianity." Chesterton describes how one of the things that most intrigued him about Christianity later in life was how it was accused of opposite things at the same time. It was accused of being the mother of all wars, and of encouraging some people to ridiculous levels of pacifism. It was accused of making people too pessimistic, and making people too optimistic.
"This began to be alarming. It looked not so much as if Christianity was bad enough to include any vices, but rather as if any stick was good enough to beat Christianity with. What again could this astonishing thing be like which people were so anxious to contradict, that in doing so they did not mind contradicting themselves? I saw the same thing on every side. I can give no further space to this discussion of it in detail; but lest any one supposes that I have unfairly selected three accidental cases I will run briefly through a few others. Thus, certain sceptics wrote that the great crime of Christianity had been its attack on the family; it had dragged women to the loneliness and contemplation of the cloister, away from their homes and their children. But, then, other sceptics (slightly more advanced) said that the great crime of Christianity was forcing the family and marriage upon us; that it doomed women to the drudgery of their homes and children, and forbade them loneliness and contemplation. The charge was actually reversed. Or, again, certain phrases in the Epistles or the marriage service, were said by the anti-Christians to show contempt for woman's intellect. But I found that the anti-Christians themselves had a contempt for woman's intellect; for it was their great sneer at the Church on the Continent that "only women" went to it."
He confesses that this led him at first to the conclusion, not that Christianity was true, but that it was exceedingly strange.
"An historic institution, which never went right, is really quite as much of a miracle as an institution that cannot go wrong. The only explanation which immediately occurred to my mind was that Christianity did not come from heaven, but from hell. Really, if Jesus of Nazareth was not Christ, He must have been Antichrist."
It was the consideration of the Christian approach to virtue that ultimately fostered a new appreciation in Chesterton. Its conception of courage which could condemn the suicide and glorify the martyr, its conception of humility vs. pride that meant, "One can hardly think too little of one's self. One can hardly think too much of one's soul."
And then:
"Take another case: the complicated question of charity, which some highly uncharitable idealists seem to think quite easy. Charity is a paradox, like modesty and courage. Stated baldly, charity certainly means one of two things -- pardoning unpardonable acts, or loving unlovable people. But if we ask ourselves (as we did in the case of pride) what a sensible pagan would feel about such a subject, we shall probably be beginning at the bottom of it. A sensible pagan would say that there were some people one could forgive, and some one couldn't: a slave who stole wine could be laughed at; a slave who betrayed his benefactor could be killed, and cursed even after he was killed. In so far as the act was pardonable, the man was pardonable. That again is rational, and even refreshing; but it is a dilution. It leaves no place for a pure horror of injustice, such as that which is a great beauty in the innocent. And it leaves no place for a mere tenderness for men as men, such as is the whole fascination of the charitable. Christianity came in here as before. It came in startlingly with a sword, and clove one thing from another. It divided the crime from the criminal. The criminal we must forgive unto seventy times seven. The crime we must not forgive at all. It was not enough that slaves who stole wine inspired partly anger and partly kindness. We must be much more angry with theft than before, and yet much kinder to thieves than before. There was room for wrath and love to run wild. And the more I considered Christianity, the more I found that while it had established a rule and order, the chief aim of that order was to give room for good things to run wild."
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Better Living Through Zoology: The Armadillo
Jeni and I went on a brief camping excursion this weekend with the dogs to Colorado Bend State Park. We had a good hike, the dogs swam in the river, and we all encountered various wildlife. Jeni, for example, was almost hit in the leg by a bass while wading in the river. We saw lots of deer, a roadrunner, a raccoon, a hawk - and about twenty armadillos.
We saw (and, of course, heard) several as we were pitching the tent, but on our first hike we realized the place was just swarming with the things. Dozens of armored creatures, out on patrol, like tiny tanks. Like some sort of armed force. It was....a phalanx of armadillos! No, wait. A legion! No, no. A platoon of armadillos! Nah - something else - armor, armed, armadillo - Gah! It's on the tip of my tongue!
Anyway, for Bernice and Rose this was a new experience. Armadillos can't see well at all, and aren't the brightest bulbs in the batch, so the dogs were usually in close smelling distance before the critters realized anything unusual was going on and shuffled off into the brush. It made for interesting hiking. After seeing so many up close and getting a good look at the armor, I wondered aloud, "I wonder how they mate?" To which my wife responded with her best Barry White impression, speak-singing the following: "When the night comes/ The armor comes off/ exposing the soft under-belly/ Bwwow-chicka-bwow-wah!"
I love that woman.
And now, I am proud to present - Random Facts About Armadillos!
- There are 20 different species of armadillo, including the Giant Armadillo, and - no lie - the Pink Fairy Armadillo
- The only species native to the U.S. the nine-banded one, pictured below
- The nine-banded kind doesn't roll into a ball to protect itself - too much armor
- It also has too much armor to swim, and will sink, so for crossing streams the armadillo has two options:
1) Hold its breath (up to six minutes!) and walk across the bottom
2) Inflate its stomach with air and paddle itself across - it's the only mammal that can do that
- A few years ago, a baby armadillo came out of the brush where I was camping, wandered up to me, and sniffed my foot. Then he looked up at me quizzically. If armadillos could shrug, he would have, and then he hopped away. This isn't a fact about armadillos, but I thought it was cool.
- But the craziest thing about armadillos, in my opinion, is that baby armadillos are always - always - born in sets of identical quadruplets. Crazy!
Number one in a four piece set.
We saw (and, of course, heard) several as we were pitching the tent, but on our first hike we realized the place was just swarming with the things. Dozens of armored creatures, out on patrol, like tiny tanks. Like some sort of armed force. It was....a phalanx of armadillos! No, wait. A legion! No, no. A platoon of armadillos! Nah - something else - armor, armed, armadillo - Gah! It's on the tip of my tongue!
Anyway, for Bernice and Rose this was a new experience. Armadillos can't see well at all, and aren't the brightest bulbs in the batch, so the dogs were usually in close smelling distance before the critters realized anything unusual was going on and shuffled off into the brush. It made for interesting hiking. After seeing so many up close and getting a good look at the armor, I wondered aloud, "I wonder how they mate?" To which my wife responded with her best Barry White impression, speak-singing the following: "When the night comes/ The armor comes off/ exposing the soft under-belly/ Bwwow-chicka-bwow-wah!"
I love that woman.
And now, I am proud to present - Random Facts About Armadillos!
- There are 20 different species of armadillo, including the Giant Armadillo, and - no lie - the Pink Fairy Armadillo
- The only species native to the U.S. the nine-banded one, pictured below
- The nine-banded kind doesn't roll into a ball to protect itself - too much armor
- It also has too much armor to swim, and will sink, so for crossing streams the armadillo has two options:
1) Hold its breath (up to six minutes!) and walk across the bottom
2) Inflate its stomach with air and paddle itself across - it's the only mammal that can do that
- A few years ago, a baby armadillo came out of the brush where I was camping, wandered up to me, and sniffed my foot. Then he looked up at me quizzically. If armadillos could shrug, he would have, and then he hopped away. This isn't a fact about armadillos, but I thought it was cool.
- But the craziest thing about armadillos, in my opinion, is that baby armadillos are always - always - born in sets of identical quadruplets. Crazy!
Number one in a four piece set.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #16 - The Children of the Prophets
“So I approached the prophetess, and she conceived and gave birth to a son. Then the LORD said to me, “Name him Maher-shalal-hash-baz. (Swift is the Booty, Speedy is the Prey)” – Isaiah 8:3
“So he went and took Gomer…and she conceived and bore him a son. And the LORD said to him, “Name him Jezreel, for yet a little while and I will punish the house of Jehu for the bloodshed of Jezreel” …And she conceived again and gave birth to a daughter. And the LORD said to him, “Name her Lo-Ruhamah (She Has Not Obtained Compassion), for I will no longer have compassion on the house of Israel.”…When she has weaned Lo-Ruhamah, she conceived and gave birth to a son. And the Lord said, “Name him Lo-Ammi (Not My People), for you are not my people and I am not your God.” – Hosea 1:3-9
Old Testament prophets are awesome. In the little-explored backwaters of the Old Testament they lurk, giving theological gems to those patient enough to wade through oracles on Tyre and Sidon, dedicated enough to put them in context, and persistent enough to hang with them. Preaching to everyone, castigating the rich, excoriating the powerful, condemning the corrupt, comforting the afflicted, soap-box orating to the nation, offending kings, praising the poor, and talking back to God. And occasionally they do some REALLY CRAZY things God told them to do – all to get the message across. I love Old Testament prophets.
One of the really crazy things that God told Isaiah and Hosea (who were contemporaries, somewhere between 800 and 700 B.C.) to do was give their kids weird names.
Isaiah (who’s wife is also a prophet, by the way) names his second child Maher-shalal-hash-baz, or Swift is the Booty, Speedy is the Prey. His first child is Immanuel (see 7:14 – yes, yes, I know that verse is about Christmas, but it’s also about the fall of the Arameans – read the whole chapter, it’s all there). Immanuel - not so bad. A little unusual, but the message is encouraging. But Maher-shalal-hash-baz. Man, that’s awesome. Imagine the banner at Isaiah’s house after Mrs. Isaiah delivers - “Welcome Maher-shalal-hash-baz!” You’d need two walls for that thing. It’s a great name though, in Hebrew and English. Unless of course you’re poor little Maher-shalal-hash-baz. At Hebrew school little Ahaz and Joab just zip through learning to spell their names, and the poor little guy is stuck somewhere between “shalal” and “hash” while everyone else goes out to recess.
But if Maher is hard up, poor Hosea’s kids have it worse. Weird as they are, at least Isaiah’s kids’ names signify good news – the defeat of Israel’s enemies. And both of their parents are prophets, so anytime they ask, “Mom, why my name is different?” Mrs. Isaiah has it covered.
Hosea though, he’s got a son whose name is supposed to threaten vengeance on the king of Israel, a daughter whose name means “No Compassion,” and another son whose name means God has rejected His people.
And their mom is a former prostitute who struggles with adultery.
Did Gomer object to naming her children such things? Did Hosea answer her objections with, "For Yahweh's sake, your name is Gomer!!"? No scholarly consensus can be reached on such questions.
And what did poor little Jezreel, Lo-Ruhamah, and Lo-Ammi do in Hebrew School when the teacher is going down the list of names? Did little Joash and Jonadab stare quizzically and giggle at “Not My People?” Did he have to explain what his name meant every time he met someone, or was it like when you meet an adult named Rainbow or Moonflower and they say, “My parents were hippies,” and everyone goes “Oh! That explains it!” When people raised their eyebrows at the name “No Compassion,” did she just have to roll her eyes, sigh loudly, and say “My dad’s a prophet,” and everyone said, “Oh! Say no more!”? The Bible is full of such mysteries.
One thing that is not mysterious is that Hosea’s message - and the names of he and Gomer's children - doesn’t end with judgment. In chapter 2, the first half of the oracle is a withering condemnation of Israel’s idolatry, pictured as God divorcing his brazenly adulterous wife, exposing her shame and banishing her to the desert. And the second half?
“Therefore behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak upon her heart…It will come about in that day, declares the LORD, that you will call Me Husband, and will no longer call Me Master.” – Hosea 2:14, 16
God, the One betrayed, meets his adulterous wife in the desert and woos her back into his arms, offering her protection from every harmful thing, and promising a better relationship than before.
"I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the LORD." - Hosea 2:19-20
And the names of Hosea’s children are redeemed – “And it will come about in that day that I will respond, declares the LORD, I will respond to the heavens, and they will respond to the earth, and the earth will respond to the grain, to the new wine, and to the oil, and they will respond to God Sowing (the literal meaning of Jezreel). And I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on Her Who Had Not Obtained Compassion, and I will say to those who were Not My People – “You are My people!” and they will say “You are my God!” – Hosea 2:21-23
Jezreel, the valley of bloodshed, becomes the place where God plants his garden – a place of Compassion, a place where those who had been rejected now live in unity with God as His People.
Both Peter and Paul quote Hosea 9:23 (1 Peter 2:10, Romans 9:25), as a prophecy about God calling all people to be His people. Immanuel, God Sows, She Who Has Obtained Compassion, and My People. Thank God for the children of the prophets.
“So he went and took Gomer…and she conceived and bore him a son. And the LORD said to him, “Name him Jezreel, for yet a little while and I will punish the house of Jehu for the bloodshed of Jezreel” …And she conceived again and gave birth to a daughter. And the LORD said to him, “Name her Lo-Ruhamah (She Has Not Obtained Compassion), for I will no longer have compassion on the house of Israel.”…When she has weaned Lo-Ruhamah, she conceived and gave birth to a son. And the Lord said, “Name him Lo-Ammi (Not My People), for you are not my people and I am not your God.” – Hosea 1:3-9
Old Testament prophets are awesome. In the little-explored backwaters of the Old Testament they lurk, giving theological gems to those patient enough to wade through oracles on Tyre and Sidon, dedicated enough to put them in context, and persistent enough to hang with them. Preaching to everyone, castigating the rich, excoriating the powerful, condemning the corrupt, comforting the afflicted, soap-box orating to the nation, offending kings, praising the poor, and talking back to God. And occasionally they do some REALLY CRAZY things God told them to do – all to get the message across. I love Old Testament prophets.
One of the really crazy things that God told Isaiah and Hosea (who were contemporaries, somewhere between 800 and 700 B.C.) to do was give their kids weird names.
Isaiah (who’s wife is also a prophet, by the way) names his second child Maher-shalal-hash-baz, or Swift is the Booty, Speedy is the Prey. His first child is Immanuel (see 7:14 – yes, yes, I know that verse is about Christmas, but it’s also about the fall of the Arameans – read the whole chapter, it’s all there). Immanuel - not so bad. A little unusual, but the message is encouraging. But Maher-shalal-hash-baz. Man, that’s awesome. Imagine the banner at Isaiah’s house after Mrs. Isaiah delivers - “Welcome Maher-shalal-hash-baz!” You’d need two walls for that thing. It’s a great name though, in Hebrew and English. Unless of course you’re poor little Maher-shalal-hash-baz. At Hebrew school little Ahaz and Joab just zip through learning to spell their names, and the poor little guy is stuck somewhere between “shalal” and “hash” while everyone else goes out to recess.
But if Maher is hard up, poor Hosea’s kids have it worse. Weird as they are, at least Isaiah’s kids’ names signify good news – the defeat of Israel’s enemies. And both of their parents are prophets, so anytime they ask, “Mom, why my name is different?” Mrs. Isaiah has it covered.
Hosea though, he’s got a son whose name is supposed to threaten vengeance on the king of Israel, a daughter whose name means “No Compassion,” and another son whose name means God has rejected His people.
And their mom is a former prostitute who struggles with adultery.
Did Gomer object to naming her children such things? Did Hosea answer her objections with, "For Yahweh's sake, your name is Gomer!!"? No scholarly consensus can be reached on such questions.
And what did poor little Jezreel, Lo-Ruhamah, and Lo-Ammi do in Hebrew School when the teacher is going down the list of names? Did little Joash and Jonadab stare quizzically and giggle at “Not My People?” Did he have to explain what his name meant every time he met someone, or was it like when you meet an adult named Rainbow or Moonflower and they say, “My parents were hippies,” and everyone goes “Oh! That explains it!” When people raised their eyebrows at the name “No Compassion,” did she just have to roll her eyes, sigh loudly, and say “My dad’s a prophet,” and everyone said, “Oh! Say no more!”? The Bible is full of such mysteries.
One thing that is not mysterious is that Hosea’s message - and the names of he and Gomer's children - doesn’t end with judgment. In chapter 2, the first half of the oracle is a withering condemnation of Israel’s idolatry, pictured as God divorcing his brazenly adulterous wife, exposing her shame and banishing her to the desert. And the second half?
“Therefore behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak upon her heart…It will come about in that day, declares the LORD, that you will call Me Husband, and will no longer call Me Master.” – Hosea 2:14, 16
God, the One betrayed, meets his adulterous wife in the desert and woos her back into his arms, offering her protection from every harmful thing, and promising a better relationship than before.
"I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in lovingkindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the LORD." - Hosea 2:19-20
And the names of Hosea’s children are redeemed – “And it will come about in that day that I will respond, declares the LORD, I will respond to the heavens, and they will respond to the earth, and the earth will respond to the grain, to the new wine, and to the oil, and they will respond to God Sowing (the literal meaning of Jezreel). And I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on Her Who Had Not Obtained Compassion, and I will say to those who were Not My People – “You are My people!” and they will say “You are my God!” – Hosea 2:21-23
Jezreel, the valley of bloodshed, becomes the place where God plants his garden – a place of Compassion, a place where those who had been rejected now live in unity with God as His People.
Both Peter and Paul quote Hosea 9:23 (1 Peter 2:10, Romans 9:25), as a prophecy about God calling all people to be His people. Immanuel, God Sows, She Who Has Obtained Compassion, and My People. Thank God for the children of the prophets.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Q: "Where is Barack Obama?" - A: "He is at the gas station."
Jeni and I have recently embarked on an amazing adventure - teaching English as a Second Language. Learning languages is difficult, especially when you are an adult, and I really admire the drive of our class - each of them comes to class in the evening after a full day of work. Can you imagine how daunting it would be to walk into a strange building for the first time, sit down and have someone say some words in foreign language, and then ask you to repeat them back?
We have a very enthusiastic class of eight Hispanic women and one guy, and one South Korean young woman. It is a daunting task to think about, teaching someone English. But it is an amazing experience to start with a group of people who are hesitant to say phrases like "What is your name?", and by the end of the evening watch them say it like it is old hat. It is rewarding beyond description to see adults' eyes light up with confidence when they have mastered something new. It's like Christmas, every Tuesday night.
The question and answer above comes from last night's lesson - "to be + where?" We were matching subjects and pronouns, and learning the power of the prepositions "on," "in," and "at." So I drew some buildings on the board with their names below, "hospital," "grocery store," "church," "school," etc. Then we had photos that we could stick next to the buildings and ask "Where is _____?" and then they answer "He/She/It/They are at _____." I had a photo of my wife for "she," one of the two of us for "they," and a random picture of a cat for "it." For "he" I decided on Barack Obama. Not for any political reason - mostly because it's fun to say.
Try it! "Barack Obama." So many consonants!
I'm not sure why it amuses me so much, but I find the title of this post very funny. I've been repeating it in my head since last night. And our class thought it was fun, as well, to ask each other, "Where is Barack Obama?" And to answer, "He is at the grocery store," or, "He is at the zoo." Good times.
Next week: Verbs!
We have a very enthusiastic class of eight Hispanic women and one guy, and one South Korean young woman. It is a daunting task to think about, teaching someone English. But it is an amazing experience to start with a group of people who are hesitant to say phrases like "What is your name?", and by the end of the evening watch them say it like it is old hat. It is rewarding beyond description to see adults' eyes light up with confidence when they have mastered something new. It's like Christmas, every Tuesday night.
The question and answer above comes from last night's lesson - "to be + where?" We were matching subjects and pronouns, and learning the power of the prepositions "on," "in," and "at." So I drew some buildings on the board with their names below, "hospital," "grocery store," "church," "school," etc. Then we had photos that we could stick next to the buildings and ask "Where is _____?" and then they answer "He/She/It/They are at _____." I had a photo of my wife for "she," one of the two of us for "they," and a random picture of a cat for "it." For "he" I decided on Barack Obama. Not for any political reason - mostly because it's fun to say.
Try it! "Barack Obama." So many consonants!
I'm not sure why it amuses me so much, but I find the title of this post very funny. I've been repeating it in my head since last night. And our class thought it was fun, as well, to ask each other, "Where is Barack Obama?" And to answer, "He is at the grocery store," or, "He is at the zoo." Good times.
Next week: Verbs!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Movie Moment: Stranger Than Fiction
I heartily recommend to you the movie "Stranger Than Fiction." Perhaps you remember the trailer from a few years back (2006). Written by Zach Helm, the story is about IRS agent Harold Crick (Will Ferrell), who hears a voice in his head - it is the narrator (Emma Thompson) describing his life as it goes on around him. Things get a little more dire when she says, "Little did he know that this seemingly innocuous event would mean his imminent death." This leads eventually to the office of Dr. Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman), and the following conversation in which Dr. Hilbert attempts to better understand Harold's problem, and which is one of my new favorite scenes from any movie ever:
Dr. Jules Hilbert: I've devised a test. How exciting is that? Composed of 23 questions which I think might help uncover more truths about this narrator. Now Howard...
Harold: Harold!
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold - these may seem silly but your candor is paramount.
Harold: Ok.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: So. We know it's a woman's voice. The story involves your death. It's modern. It's in English and I'm assuming the author has a cursory knowledge of the city.
Harold: Sure.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: O.k. good. Question one. Has anyone recently left any gifts outside your home? Anything. Gum, money, a large wooden horse.
Harold: I'm sorry?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Just answer the question.
Harold: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Do you find yourself inclined to solve murder mysteries in large luxurious homes to which you...
Harold: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Let me finish. - To which you may or may not have been invited?
Harold: No, no, no.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Alright. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated?
Harold: Assassinated?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: One being very unlikely, ten being expecting it around every corner.
Harold: I have no idea.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: O.k. let me rephrase.
[takes a deep breath]
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Are you the king of anything?
Harold: Like what?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Anything. King of the lanes at the local bowling alley.
Harold: King of the lanes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: King of the lanes, king of the trolls…
Harold: King of the Trolls?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Yes, uh - a clandestine land found underneath your floor boards.
Harold: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hmm?
Harold: No. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else?
Harold: Like, do I have someone else's arms?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well is it possible at one time that you were made of stone, wood, lye, varied corpse parts? Or, earth made holy by rabbinical elders?
Harold: No. Look, look. I'm sorry, but what do these questions have to do with anything?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Nothing. The only way to find out what story you're in is to determine what stories you're not in. Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature, seven fairy tales, ten Chinese fables, and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster, or a golem. Hmm? Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem?
Harold: [Trying to be patient] Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Good. [pause] Do you have magical powers?
End Scene
Dr. Jules Hilbert: I've devised a test. How exciting is that? Composed of 23 questions which I think might help uncover more truths about this narrator. Now Howard...
Harold: Harold!
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Harold - these may seem silly but your candor is paramount.
Harold: Ok.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: So. We know it's a woman's voice. The story involves your death. It's modern. It's in English and I'm assuming the author has a cursory knowledge of the city.
Harold: Sure.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: O.k. good. Question one. Has anyone recently left any gifts outside your home? Anything. Gum, money, a large wooden horse.
Harold: I'm sorry?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Just answer the question.
Harold: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Do you find yourself inclined to solve murder mysteries in large luxurious homes to which you...
Harold: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Let me finish. - To which you may or may not have been invited?
Harold: No, no, no.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Alright. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated?
Harold: Assassinated?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: One being very unlikely, ten being expecting it around every corner.
Harold: I have no idea.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: O.k. let me rephrase.
[takes a deep breath]
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Are you the king of anything?
Harold: Like what?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Anything. King of the lanes at the local bowling alley.
Harold: King of the lanes?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: King of the lanes, king of the trolls…
Harold: King of the Trolls?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Yes, uh - a clandestine land found underneath your floor boards.
Harold: No.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Hmm?
Harold: No. That's ridiculous.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards. Now, was any part of you at one time part of something else?
Harold: Like, do I have someone else's arms?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Well is it possible at one time that you were made of stone, wood, lye, varied corpse parts? Or, earth made holy by rabbinical elders?
Harold: No. Look, look. I'm sorry, but what do these questions have to do with anything?
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Nothing. The only way to find out what story you're in is to determine what stories you're not in. Odd as it may seem, I've just ruled out half of Greek literature, seven fairy tales, ten Chinese fables, and determined conclusively that you are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster, or a golem. Hmm? Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem?
Harold: [Trying to be patient] Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.
Dr. Jules Hilbert: Good. [pause] Do you have magical powers?
End Scene
Monday, September 22, 2008
Various Threads, Tied Together...
This year I got a little behind on my National Geographic reading, so I've been slowly catching up. Last month I read the December 2007 issue, which had a story about Bethlehem. Israel has built a massive wall around three sides of it, strictly guarded to protect Jerusalem from terrorist attack. The Christians inside Bethlehem have been systematically moving away, as they no longer feel safe. And just outside the city where Jesus was born, refugees find that there is no room for them - but these refugees are Muslim. Hatred breeds in the Holy Land on top of the cave where Love was born incarnate.
A few months later, someone responded to this article in the letter section of the magazine with: "Perhaps it is not money, but religion that is the root of all evil. Thank God I am an atheist!"
The snarky part of me wants to point out to this person that atheistic societies and governments tend to be at least as oppressive, corrupt, and violent as religiously led nations, and the same is likely true for individuals.
Then, I thought, perhaps this person is on to something - with a caveat. The letter-writer makes a common misquote of 1 Timothy 6:10, which says "the love of money is the root of all evil." Money itself is spiritually neutral - how you feel about it is not.
So with the correct phrasing in hand, is the love of religion the root of all evil? What's the difference between the love of religion and the love of God? That's the question that the Old Testament prophets sought to answer. It's a question the apostle Paul apparently spent some time sorting out. And it's the question at the heart of death of Christ.
One of the most revealing passages about the enemies of Jesus is John 11:4-50: "Therefore the chief priests and the Pharisees convened a council, and were saying, 'What are we doing? For this man is performing many signs. If we let him go one like this, all men will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away our place (i.e. the temple) and our nation.' But a certain one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, 'You know nothing at all, nor do you take into account that it is expedient that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation should not perish."
Brennan Manning comments on this passage in The Ragamuffin Gospel: "A terrible thing has happened to Caiaphas. Religion has left the realm of respect for person. For Caiaphas sacredness has become institutions, structures, and abstractions. He is dedicated to the people, so individual flesh and blood men are expendable. Caiaphas is dedicated to the nation. But the nation does not bleed like Jesus. Caiaphas is dedicated to the Temple - impersonal brick and mortar. Caiaphas became impersonal himself, no longer a warm human being but a robot, as fixed and rigid as his unchanging world.
The choice usually presented to Christians is not between Jesus and Barabbas. No one wants to appear an obvious murderer. The choice to be careful about is between Jesus and Caiaphas. And Caiaphas can fool us. He is a very 'religious' man.
The way we are with each other is the truest test of our faith. How I treat a brother and sister from day to day, how I react to the sin-scarred wino on the street, how I respond to interruptions from people I dislike, how I deal with normal people in their normal confusion on a normal day may be a better indication of my reverence for life than the antiabortion sticker on the bumper of my car."
A few months later, someone responded to this article in the letter section of the magazine with: "Perhaps it is not money, but religion that is the root of all evil. Thank God I am an atheist!"
The snarky part of me wants to point out to this person that atheistic societies and governments tend to be at least as oppressive, corrupt, and violent as religiously led nations, and the same is likely true for individuals.
Then, I thought, perhaps this person is on to something - with a caveat. The letter-writer makes a common misquote of 1 Timothy 6:10, which says "the love of money is the root of all evil." Money itself is spiritually neutral - how you feel about it is not.
So with the correct phrasing in hand, is the love of religion the root of all evil? What's the difference between the love of religion and the love of God? That's the question that the Old Testament prophets sought to answer. It's a question the apostle Paul apparently spent some time sorting out. And it's the question at the heart of death of Christ.
One of the most revealing passages about the enemies of Jesus is John 11:4-50: "Therefore the chief priests and the Pharisees convened a council, and were saying, 'What are we doing? For this man is performing many signs. If we let him go one like this, all men will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away our place (i.e. the temple) and our nation.' But a certain one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, 'You know nothing at all, nor do you take into account that it is expedient that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation should not perish."
Brennan Manning comments on this passage in The Ragamuffin Gospel: "A terrible thing has happened to Caiaphas. Religion has left the realm of respect for person. For Caiaphas sacredness has become institutions, structures, and abstractions. He is dedicated to the people, so individual flesh and blood men are expendable. Caiaphas is dedicated to the nation. But the nation does not bleed like Jesus. Caiaphas is dedicated to the Temple - impersonal brick and mortar. Caiaphas became impersonal himself, no longer a warm human being but a robot, as fixed and rigid as his unchanging world.
The choice usually presented to Christians is not between Jesus and Barabbas. No one wants to appear an obvious murderer. The choice to be careful about is between Jesus and Caiaphas. And Caiaphas can fool us. He is a very 'religious' man.
The way we are with each other is the truest test of our faith. How I treat a brother and sister from day to day, how I react to the sin-scarred wino on the street, how I respond to interruptions from people I dislike, how I deal with normal people in their normal confusion on a normal day may be a better indication of my reverence for life than the antiabortion sticker on the bumper of my car."
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"Hellhouse" - Ways to Improve
One of the interesting things about being a youth minister is receiving lots and lots of things in the mail from people who would like me to spend my youth budget on stuff they sell. This includes t-shirts, Six Flags tickets, minor and major league baseball games, ski trips, Christian illusionists, comedians, bands, retreats, conferences, camps, mission trips, fund raising opportunities, and donkey basketball - well, not donkey basketball. Yet.
This week I have received two separate invitations to spend the youth budget on "Hellhouse." For the blessed among you who do not know, "Hellhouse" is a "Christian haunted house." The brochure I have in front of me describes it as "a ministry tool designed to help people face the reality of eternity by presenting different 'real life' scenes which portray death, demonic control, heaven and hell."
You see, in your traditional haunted house, you pay for the privilege of wandering through a series of dimly lit hallways where gory props and people dressed as an assortment of goblins, zombies, and serial killers with power tools pop out and try to scare the bodily fluids out of you. Fun for all ages.
At "Hellhouse" you pay for the privilege of seeing a variety of scenes acted out in a series of rooms. You can usually expect to see scenes of: drug overdose, gang violence, abortion, "demonic control" (that's in the brochure!), and some form of horrific car crash. (I wish I was making this up). You are also guaranteed to see a scene of two people post-death, standing before some sort of angelic light. One of these people will be taken to heaven, and the other will be dragged to Hell for eternity by demons while being told "It's too late, you decided in life not to follow Jesus - sucks to be you." Hence the name "Hellhouse." After this, a minister will briefly present the message of the gospel and ask if anyone would like to accept Jesus as their Savior.
I now reach deep, deep down into the best part of me and tell you that I honestly believe such things are put on by well-meaning people. They want teenagers to experience salvation. They want teenagers to meet Jesus. And they have figured out a way to present the gospel in a format that will attract a somewhat different crowd of teenagers than the usual youth group.
BUT - there may be some problems with this approach:
1) Ideally, Christianity is a lifelong commitment to be a disciple of Christ. While grateful, awed love for the grace of God and the fear of eternal separation from God are not mutually exclusive, I think "Hellhouse" might emphasize the latter more than the former.
2) Teenagers are fickle in their passions and decisions, and a faith decision made from fear and guilt may not be the healthiest kind of faith decision.
3) This presentation of the gospel is almost completely separate from a Christian community, a necessary part of long-term, healthy discipleship.
4) It's not a haunted house. It's a frightening drama. Teenagers don't like to be tricked.
So, those are my frustrations with "Hellhouse." The simple solution for me, of course, is to not go, not take the youth group, and not spend the youth budget on something I find theologically and morally suspect.
But the funny thing to do is offer suggestions for improvement! So here's my ideas:
"Christian Haunted House" - Make it what it should always have been! You wander through dimly lit hallways and gory props and strangely dressed characters jump out and try to scare you, but all the props and characters are based on stuff from the Bible! You could have Sisera's head with a tent stake through it, a lion's den, a fiery furnace, the seven-headed beast from Revelation, demon-possessed pigs. The list goes on and on. It could be awesome!
Goal: Get kids interested in the Bible.
"Inferno House" - A guide dressed as Virgil escorts you through a haunted house with nine levels based on Dante's "Inferno." Features a full-scale city of Pandemonium, various mythological creatures, and in the ninth circle, inside an indestrial freezer, a large animatronic devil with Brutus, Cassius, and Judas dangling from his jaws. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"
Goal: Get kids interested in classics of literature.
"Hades House" - A guide dressed as Odysseus or Hercules guides you through the ancient Greek underworld. Features Hades, Peresephone, a three-headed dog, a re-enactment of the myth of Orpheus, and interactive tortures where kids are 1)submerged to their neck where food and water are just out of reach, and 2)have to roll a large rock up a hill, but it rolls down just before you reach the top.
Goal: Get kids interested in mythology.
"Hell's Angel House" - A haunted house with bikers! Features leather chaps, music by the Rolling Stones, and special appearance by those guys from "Orange County Chopper."
Goal: Inform kids of motorcycle safety.
"Hellboy House" - Based on the characters of Mike Mignola, presents a live-action fusion of comic book superheroes, noir fiction, and various world mythologies and folklore. Purchase a "right hand of doom" gauntlet in the gift shop.
Extra: The best Hellboy cartoon.
Goal: Make money based on a movie character.
"Helsinki House" - It's a fight to the Finnish as you face a house full of bloodthirsty descendants of Vikings, hockey fans, and reindeer herders! Special appearance by Linus Torvalds, the creator of the Linux operating system.
There, I feel better now. Happy haunting!
This week I have received two separate invitations to spend the youth budget on "Hellhouse." For the blessed among you who do not know, "Hellhouse" is a "Christian haunted house." The brochure I have in front of me describes it as "a ministry tool designed to help people face the reality of eternity by presenting different 'real life' scenes which portray death, demonic control, heaven and hell."
You see, in your traditional haunted house, you pay for the privilege of wandering through a series of dimly lit hallways where gory props and people dressed as an assortment of goblins, zombies, and serial killers with power tools pop out and try to scare the bodily fluids out of you. Fun for all ages.
At "Hellhouse" you pay for the privilege of seeing a variety of scenes acted out in a series of rooms. You can usually expect to see scenes of: drug overdose, gang violence, abortion, "demonic control" (that's in the brochure!), and some form of horrific car crash. (I wish I was making this up). You are also guaranteed to see a scene of two people post-death, standing before some sort of angelic light. One of these people will be taken to heaven, and the other will be dragged to Hell for eternity by demons while being told "It's too late, you decided in life not to follow Jesus - sucks to be you." Hence the name "Hellhouse." After this, a minister will briefly present the message of the gospel and ask if anyone would like to accept Jesus as their Savior.
I now reach deep, deep down into the best part of me and tell you that I honestly believe such things are put on by well-meaning people. They want teenagers to experience salvation. They want teenagers to meet Jesus. And they have figured out a way to present the gospel in a format that will attract a somewhat different crowd of teenagers than the usual youth group.
BUT - there may be some problems with this approach:
1) Ideally, Christianity is a lifelong commitment to be a disciple of Christ. While grateful, awed love for the grace of God and the fear of eternal separation from God are not mutually exclusive, I think "Hellhouse" might emphasize the latter more than the former.
2) Teenagers are fickle in their passions and decisions, and a faith decision made from fear and guilt may not be the healthiest kind of faith decision.
3) This presentation of the gospel is almost completely separate from a Christian community, a necessary part of long-term, healthy discipleship.
4) It's not a haunted house. It's a frightening drama. Teenagers don't like to be tricked.
So, those are my frustrations with "Hellhouse." The simple solution for me, of course, is to not go, not take the youth group, and not spend the youth budget on something I find theologically and morally suspect.
But the funny thing to do is offer suggestions for improvement! So here's my ideas:
"Christian Haunted House" - Make it what it should always have been! You wander through dimly lit hallways and gory props and strangely dressed characters jump out and try to scare you, but all the props and characters are based on stuff from the Bible! You could have Sisera's head with a tent stake through it, a lion's den, a fiery furnace, the seven-headed beast from Revelation, demon-possessed pigs. The list goes on and on. It could be awesome!
Goal: Get kids interested in the Bible.
"Inferno House" - A guide dressed as Virgil escorts you through a haunted house with nine levels based on Dante's "Inferno." Features a full-scale city of Pandemonium, various mythological creatures, and in the ninth circle, inside an indestrial freezer, a large animatronic devil with Brutus, Cassius, and Judas dangling from his jaws. "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!"
Goal: Get kids interested in classics of literature.
"Hades House" - A guide dressed as Odysseus or Hercules guides you through the ancient Greek underworld. Features Hades, Peresephone, a three-headed dog, a re-enactment of the myth of Orpheus, and interactive tortures where kids are 1)submerged to their neck where food and water are just out of reach, and 2)have to roll a large rock up a hill, but it rolls down just before you reach the top.
Goal: Get kids interested in mythology.
"Hell's Angel House" - A haunted house with bikers! Features leather chaps, music by the Rolling Stones, and special appearance by those guys from "Orange County Chopper."
Goal: Inform kids of motorcycle safety.
"Hellboy House" - Based on the characters of Mike Mignola, presents a live-action fusion of comic book superheroes, noir fiction, and various world mythologies and folklore. Purchase a "right hand of doom" gauntlet in the gift shop.
Extra: The best Hellboy cartoon.
Goal: Make money based on a movie character.
"Helsinki House" - It's a fight to the Finnish as you face a house full of bloodthirsty descendants of Vikings, hockey fans, and reindeer herders! Special appearance by Linus Torvalds, the creator of the Linux operating system.
There, I feel better now. Happy haunting!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Better Living Through Zoology: The Hippopotamus
I was born in Lufkin, Texas, and lived there till I was 9 years old. There were a lot of favorite places I had as a child, but topping the list was probably the Ellen Trout Zoo. The zoo was founded in 1967 by Walter Trout, because he had a weird friend. For Christmas one year, Walter’s friend sent him a 500 lb. baby hippopotamus. Your options are limited when receiving such a gift, so Trout started a zoo, and its first resident was Hippy the hippo.
Hippy was the first animal you saw going into the zoo, and hippos have been my favorite animal ever since. Seeing the behemoth right after you went through the turnstile at the zoo made quite an impression. I liked his amphibious lifestyle, and easy-going manner. I did not like his smell, but he wore it well.
Since then, I have learned to appreciate other unique aspects of the hippo. Their name means “river horse.” They are genetic relatives of dolphins and whales, and can breed, give birth, and nurse babies underwater. They generally hold their breath underwater for three to five minutes (three minutes is beyond most humans) but can hold their breath for up to 30 minutes, and can walk on the bottom of rivers (they can’t float).
They can live up to 50 years (usually 30-40) and can weigh 3-5 tons. They are social creatures that herd together in groups of 10-150 animals.
They communicate through “wheeze-honks” and some scientists think that they may communicate underwater through vocalizations similar to whales.
Oh, I could go on! My appreciation for the hippo is part nostalgia, and part modern-day wonder that such a thing exists in the same world. Like every other African animal, it has never been domesticated. It just wants to lie in the cool water during the day, and eat lots and lots of grass during the night. If you mess with it, it will jab you with its giant tusks. Otherwise, it makes a good, if smelly, neighbor. Ah, the simple life!
So, here’s to the hippo! Third largest land mammal, but first in my heart.
Behold the majesty.
Also, here's somewhat lowbrow hippo-related humor.
Hippy was the first animal you saw going into the zoo, and hippos have been my favorite animal ever since. Seeing the behemoth right after you went through the turnstile at the zoo made quite an impression. I liked his amphibious lifestyle, and easy-going manner. I did not like his smell, but he wore it well.
Since then, I have learned to appreciate other unique aspects of the hippo. Their name means “river horse.” They are genetic relatives of dolphins and whales, and can breed, give birth, and nurse babies underwater. They generally hold their breath underwater for three to five minutes (three minutes is beyond most humans) but can hold their breath for up to 30 minutes, and can walk on the bottom of rivers (they can’t float).
They can live up to 50 years (usually 30-40) and can weigh 3-5 tons. They are social creatures that herd together in groups of 10-150 animals.
They communicate through “wheeze-honks” and some scientists think that they may communicate underwater through vocalizations similar to whales.
Oh, I could go on! My appreciation for the hippo is part nostalgia, and part modern-day wonder that such a thing exists in the same world. Like every other African animal, it has never been domesticated. It just wants to lie in the cool water during the day, and eat lots and lots of grass during the night. If you mess with it, it will jab you with its giant tusks. Otherwise, it makes a good, if smelly, neighbor. Ah, the simple life!
So, here’s to the hippo! Third largest land mammal, but first in my heart.
Behold the majesty.
Also, here's somewhat lowbrow hippo-related humor.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #15 - "Perfect love casts out fear" - 1 John 4:18-19
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfect in love. We love because He first loved us." - 1 John 4:18-19
This part freaks me out with its staggering beauty. Have you had the realization that lurking behind your anger is often fear? Fear of rejection, or disapproval, or loss?
The very next verse freaks me out with a challenge:
"If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." - I John 4:20
Beloved - let us love one another.
This part freaks me out with its staggering beauty. Have you had the realization that lurking behind your anger is often fear? Fear of rejection, or disapproval, or loss?
The very next verse freaks me out with a challenge:
"If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." - I John 4:20
Beloved - let us love one another.
Friday, September 12, 2008
A Rap Song About Country Music
Last April my friend Brian and I challenged each other to write a song every other day for thirty days (what this meant was that I would write lyrics every other day, and that Brian would write music every day, since he is a very fine musician). The result was a tremendous work of artistic elegance that I hope you'll get to hear some day. One song that very few people have heard, though, is the one I'm sharing with you now. I think, in all humility, that it is the pinnacle of my song writing thus far. It is a love song. It is a hip hop song. It is about country music. The italicized portions below are intended to be spoken. The first two lines of the chorus are to the tune of "The Farmer and the Cowman Can Be Friends" from Oklahoma.
Genre Bender - or
How I Learned to Relax and Love Country Music
Verse 1:
Yo, the hood I’m from ain’t a hood at all
Cause you sound right to me if you got a drawl
Grew up on a black top road in the sticks
And I never knew a gangsta who wasn’t a hick
And e’rebody I knew in the boondocks
Turns the radio on and says “Country rocks”
But all the way up through my high school days
I couldn’t help it but be amazed
How anyone listened to country sangin’
With the steel guitar and that awful twangin’
See, early on I was down with the ghetto groove
And the phat bass beats that’ll make you move
But the country fans couldn’t understand
How you play in Texas without a fiddle in the band
So I gave it up and “Shove it all, G!”
If country playing don’t bother to call me
Then sumthin’ happened that rocked my world
I fell in love in love with a country girl
Yeah, she stole my heart and she took no pity
So I guess I better learn to love Conway Twitty
Chorus:
Oh Hip Hop and Country/Western can be friends
Whatever kind of a record that you spin
I’ll be in that mix that you got in your system
Rap or Country I’ll be listenin’
County line or out the hood
West Philly or Nashville it’s all good
Verse 2:
Yeah this girl came in and she changed my life
Like Hank Senior I saw the light
“Love can build a bridge” the Judds had it right
So I listened to all the LP’s in sight
George Straight, George Jones, Clint Black, Vince Gill
Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, Faith Hill
Randy Travis, Marty Robbins, Mel Tillis
Till my hop hop friends say ‘Whatchoo talking bout Willis?”
That ain’t what Nelly meant by ‘Country Grammar’!”
But I dig the Wu Tan Clan and Alabama
I dig Kenny Rodgers and Jay-Z
Dr. Dre and Kenny Chesney
Juvenile and Diamond Rio
Tennessee Ernie Ford and Coolio
Fifty Cent and that Johnny Paycheck
Down with thug though I might be a redneck
Yeah, I learned to listen and love both sides
Even if I stand out like Charley Pride
Rhymes are the thing that I dig on man
Whether they from Busta or Leann
Chorus:
Oh Hip Hop and Country/Western can be friends
Whatever kind of a record that you spin
I’ll be in that mix that you got in your system
Rap or Country I’ll be listenin’
County line or out the hood
Compton or Nashville it’s all good
(Yo yo, because this is a hip hop song – I am legally obligated to tell you how awesome I am – in verse - We gon’ do it like this!!)
Go cowgirl It’s yer berfday
We gonna barn dance like its yer berfday
You’ll find me on the farm
Dancin’ in the barn
Dosi do-ing with my square dancin’ partner on my arm
Just a good old boy never meaning any harm
And the brush pile bonfire’ll keep us warm
Don’t rock that jukebox and I don’t mean maybe
Ain’t just the Judds say “Mama he’s crazy”
Yeah I’m crazy like Patsy Cline
Cause I walk after midnight and I walk the line
All my rowdy friends have settled down
And though my mama told me not to bring my gun to town
I’m a branded man with friends in low places
The fugitive who needs wide open spaces
An Indian outlaw with a horse and lasso
Amarillo by mornin’ then down to El Paso
Texas playboy like Bob Wills’ crew
Go boot scootin’ under that neon moon
Go 9 to 5 then on the road again
But trust me baby and stand by your man
Behind closed doors is where my best is
Don’t take your love to town cause I’m young and restless
We’re two of a kind workin’ on a full house
So I got to ask how do ya like me now?
When the thunder rolls through Luckenbach
Then I’ll get your achy breaky heart to rock
May not have much or be Big and Rich
But like Allison Krauss I got perfect pitch
I don’t need a bunch of Dixie Chicks
Forever and ever amen baby I won’t switch
I will always love you stand right next to me
I know you think my tractor’s sexy
(Gotta get that cash ya’ll – that Johnny Cash...
Yo this goes out to all the Urban people- the Keith Urban people – word to your Memaw.)
Genre Bender - or
How I Learned to Relax and Love Country Music
Verse 1:
Yo, the hood I’m from ain’t a hood at all
Cause you sound right to me if you got a drawl
Grew up on a black top road in the sticks
And I never knew a gangsta who wasn’t a hick
And e’rebody I knew in the boondocks
Turns the radio on and says “Country rocks”
But all the way up through my high school days
I couldn’t help it but be amazed
How anyone listened to country sangin’
With the steel guitar and that awful twangin’
See, early on I was down with the ghetto groove
And the phat bass beats that’ll make you move
But the country fans couldn’t understand
How you play in Texas without a fiddle in the band
So I gave it up and “Shove it all, G!”
If country playing don’t bother to call me
Then sumthin’ happened that rocked my world
I fell in love in love with a country girl
Yeah, she stole my heart and she took no pity
So I guess I better learn to love Conway Twitty
Chorus:
Oh Hip Hop and Country/Western can be friends
Whatever kind of a record that you spin
I’ll be in that mix that you got in your system
Rap or Country I’ll be listenin’
County line or out the hood
West Philly or Nashville it’s all good
Verse 2:
Yeah this girl came in and she changed my life
Like Hank Senior I saw the light
“Love can build a bridge” the Judds had it right
So I listened to all the LP’s in sight
George Straight, George Jones, Clint Black, Vince Gill
Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, Faith Hill
Randy Travis, Marty Robbins, Mel Tillis
Till my hop hop friends say ‘Whatchoo talking bout Willis?”
That ain’t what Nelly meant by ‘Country Grammar’!”
But I dig the Wu Tan Clan and Alabama
I dig Kenny Rodgers and Jay-Z
Dr. Dre and Kenny Chesney
Juvenile and Diamond Rio
Tennessee Ernie Ford and Coolio
Fifty Cent and that Johnny Paycheck
Down with thug though I might be a redneck
Yeah, I learned to listen and love both sides
Even if I stand out like Charley Pride
Rhymes are the thing that I dig on man
Whether they from Busta or Leann
Chorus:
Oh Hip Hop and Country/Western can be friends
Whatever kind of a record that you spin
I’ll be in that mix that you got in your system
Rap or Country I’ll be listenin’
County line or out the hood
Compton or Nashville it’s all good
(Yo yo, because this is a hip hop song – I am legally obligated to tell you how awesome I am – in verse - We gon’ do it like this!!)
Go cowgirl It’s yer berfday
We gonna barn dance like its yer berfday
You’ll find me on the farm
Dancin’ in the barn
Dosi do-ing with my square dancin’ partner on my arm
Just a good old boy never meaning any harm
And the brush pile bonfire’ll keep us warm
Don’t rock that jukebox and I don’t mean maybe
Ain’t just the Judds say “Mama he’s crazy”
Yeah I’m crazy like Patsy Cline
Cause I walk after midnight and I walk the line
All my rowdy friends have settled down
And though my mama told me not to bring my gun to town
I’m a branded man with friends in low places
The fugitive who needs wide open spaces
An Indian outlaw with a horse and lasso
Amarillo by mornin’ then down to El Paso
Texas playboy like Bob Wills’ crew
Go boot scootin’ under that neon moon
Go 9 to 5 then on the road again
But trust me baby and stand by your man
Behind closed doors is where my best is
Don’t take your love to town cause I’m young and restless
We’re two of a kind workin’ on a full house
So I got to ask how do ya like me now?
When the thunder rolls through Luckenbach
Then I’ll get your achy breaky heart to rock
May not have much or be Big and Rich
But like Allison Krauss I got perfect pitch
I don’t need a bunch of Dixie Chicks
Forever and ever amen baby I won’t switch
I will always love you stand right next to me
I know you think my tractor’s sexy
(Gotta get that cash ya’ll – that Johnny Cash...
Yo this goes out to all the Urban people- the Keith Urban people – word to your Memaw.)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor
This is going to be little long, but it is one of my favorite things in the world, so...
From chapter 4 of Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton, "The Ethics of Elfland." He talks about the convictions about the world built in him by the first stories he heard - fairy tales and nursery rhymes.
"I have explained that the fairy tales rounded in me two convictions; first, that this world is a wild and startling place, which might have been quite different, but which is quite delightful; second, that before this wildness and delight one may well be modest and submit to the queerest limitations of so queer a kindness. But I found the whole modern world running like a high tide against both my tendernesses; and the shock of that collision created two sudden and spontaneous sentiments, which I have had ever since and which, crude as they were, have since hardened into convictions.
First, I found the whole modern world talking scientific fatalism; saying that everything is as it must always have been, being unfolded without fault from the beginning. The leaf on the tree is green because it could never have been anything else. Now, the fairy-tale philosopher is glad that the leaf is green precisely because it might have been scarlet. He feels as if it had turned green an instant before he looked at it. He is pleased that snow is white on the strictly reasonable ground that it might have been black. Every colour has in it a bold quality as of choice; the red of garden roses is not only decisive but dramatic, like suddenly spilt blood. He feels that something has been done.
But the great determinists of the nineteenth century were strongly against this native feeling that something had happened an instant before. In fact, according to them, nothing ever really had happened since the beginning of the world. Nothing ever had happened since existence had happened; and even about the date of that they were not very sure.
The modern world as I found it was solid for modern Calvinism, for the necessity of things being as they are. But when I came to ask them I found they had really no proof of this unavoidable repetition in things except the fact that the things were repeated. Now, the mere repetition made the things to me rather more weird than more rational. It was as if, having seen a curiously shaped nose in the street and dismissed it as an accident, I had then seen six other noses of the same astonishing shape. I should have fancied for a moment that it must be some local secret society. So one elephant having a trunk was odd; but all elephants having trunks looked like a plot.
I speak here only of an emotion, and of an emotion at once stubborn and subtle. But the repetition in Nature seemed sometimes to be an excited repetition, like that of an angry schoolmaster saying the same thing over and over again. The grass seemed signalling to me with all its fingers at once; the crowded stars seemed bent upon being understood. The sun would make me see him if he rose a thousand times. The recurrences of the universe rose to the maddening rhythm of an incantation, and I began to see an idea.
All the towering materialism which dominates the modern mind rests ultimately upon one assumption; a false assumption. It is supposed that if a thing goes on repeating itself it is probably dead; a piece of clockwork. People feel that if the universe was personal it would vary; if the sun were alive it would dance. This is a fallacy even in relation to known fact. For the variation in human affairs is generally brought into them, not by life, but by death; by the dying down or breaking off of their strength or desire. A man varies his movements because of some slight element of failure or fatigue. He gets into an omnibus because he is tired of walking; or he walks because he is tired of sitting still. But if his life and joy were so gigantic that he never tired of going to Islington, he might go to Islington as regularly as the Thames goes to Sheerness. The very speed and ecstacy of his life would have the stillness of death. The sun rises every morning. I do not rise every morning; but the variation is due not to my activity, but to my inaction. Now, to put the matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life.
The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke that they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."
He ends the chapter thusly:
"Thus ends, in unavoidable inadequacy, the attempt to utter the unutterable things. These are my ultimate attitudes towards life; the soils for the seeds of doctrine. These in some dark way I thought before I could write, and felt before I could think: that we may proceed more easily afterwards, I will roughly recapitulate them now. I felt in my bones; first, that world does not explain itself. It may be miracle with a supernatural explanation; it may be a conjuring trick, with a natural explanation. But the explanation of the conjuring trick, if it is to satisfy me, will have to be better than the natural explanations I have heard. The thing is magic, true or false.
Second, I came to feel as if magic must have a meaning, and meaning must have some one to mean it. There was something personal in the world, as in a work of art; whatever it meant it meant violently.
Third, I thought this purpose beautiful in its old design, in spite of its defects, such as dragons.
Fourth, that the proper form of thanks to it is some form of humility and restraint: we should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking too much of them. We owed, also, an obedience to whatever made us.
And last, and strangest, there had come into my mind a vague and vast impression that in some way all good was a remnant to be stored and held sacred out of some primordial ruin. Man had saved his good as Crusoe saved his goods: he had saved them from a wreck. All this I felt and the age gave me no encouragement to feel it."
From chapter 4 of Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton, "The Ethics of Elfland." He talks about the convictions about the world built in him by the first stories he heard - fairy tales and nursery rhymes.
"I have explained that the fairy tales rounded in me two convictions; first, that this world is a wild and startling place, which might have been quite different, but which is quite delightful; second, that before this wildness and delight one may well be modest and submit to the queerest limitations of so queer a kindness. But I found the whole modern world running like a high tide against both my tendernesses; and the shock of that collision created two sudden and spontaneous sentiments, which I have had ever since and which, crude as they were, have since hardened into convictions.
First, I found the whole modern world talking scientific fatalism; saying that everything is as it must always have been, being unfolded without fault from the beginning. The leaf on the tree is green because it could never have been anything else. Now, the fairy-tale philosopher is glad that the leaf is green precisely because it might have been scarlet. He feels as if it had turned green an instant before he looked at it. He is pleased that snow is white on the strictly reasonable ground that it might have been black. Every colour has in it a bold quality as of choice; the red of garden roses is not only decisive but dramatic, like suddenly spilt blood. He feels that something has been done.
But the great determinists of the nineteenth century were strongly against this native feeling that something had happened an instant before. In fact, according to them, nothing ever really had happened since the beginning of the world. Nothing ever had happened since existence had happened; and even about the date of that they were not very sure.
The modern world as I found it was solid for modern Calvinism, for the necessity of things being as they are. But when I came to ask them I found they had really no proof of this unavoidable repetition in things except the fact that the things were repeated. Now, the mere repetition made the things to me rather more weird than more rational. It was as if, having seen a curiously shaped nose in the street and dismissed it as an accident, I had then seen six other noses of the same astonishing shape. I should have fancied for a moment that it must be some local secret society. So one elephant having a trunk was odd; but all elephants having trunks looked like a plot.
I speak here only of an emotion, and of an emotion at once stubborn and subtle. But the repetition in Nature seemed sometimes to be an excited repetition, like that of an angry schoolmaster saying the same thing over and over again. The grass seemed signalling to me with all its fingers at once; the crowded stars seemed bent upon being understood. The sun would make me see him if he rose a thousand times. The recurrences of the universe rose to the maddening rhythm of an incantation, and I began to see an idea.
All the towering materialism which dominates the modern mind rests ultimately upon one assumption; a false assumption. It is supposed that if a thing goes on repeating itself it is probably dead; a piece of clockwork. People feel that if the universe was personal it would vary; if the sun were alive it would dance. This is a fallacy even in relation to known fact. For the variation in human affairs is generally brought into them, not by life, but by death; by the dying down or breaking off of their strength or desire. A man varies his movements because of some slight element of failure or fatigue. He gets into an omnibus because he is tired of walking; or he walks because he is tired of sitting still. But if his life and joy were so gigantic that he never tired of going to Islington, he might go to Islington as regularly as the Thames goes to Sheerness. The very speed and ecstacy of his life would have the stillness of death. The sun rises every morning. I do not rise every morning; but the variation is due not to my activity, but to my inaction. Now, to put the matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life.
The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke that they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."
He ends the chapter thusly:
"Thus ends, in unavoidable inadequacy, the attempt to utter the unutterable things. These are my ultimate attitudes towards life; the soils for the seeds of doctrine. These in some dark way I thought before I could write, and felt before I could think: that we may proceed more easily afterwards, I will roughly recapitulate them now. I felt in my bones; first, that world does not explain itself. It may be miracle with a supernatural explanation; it may be a conjuring trick, with a natural explanation. But the explanation of the conjuring trick, if it is to satisfy me, will have to be better than the natural explanations I have heard. The thing is magic, true or false.
Second, I came to feel as if magic must have a meaning, and meaning must have some one to mean it. There was something personal in the world, as in a work of art; whatever it meant it meant violently.
Third, I thought this purpose beautiful in its old design, in spite of its defects, such as dragons.
Fourth, that the proper form of thanks to it is some form of humility and restraint: we should thank God for beer and Burgundy by not drinking too much of them. We owed, also, an obedience to whatever made us.
And last, and strangest, there had come into my mind a vague and vast impression that in some way all good was a remnant to be stored and held sacred out of some primordial ruin. Man had saved his good as Crusoe saved his goods: he had saved them from a wreck. All this I felt and the age gave me no encouragement to feel it."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Beyond This Door...Is Another Dimension
In the news today - some stuff I talked about on Monday! The crazy awesome supercollider that some French people built underneath a chocolate factory/bordello (it's on the Swiss-French border, surely that's what it's underneath) is up and running!
Fig. A
They hope that by smashing particles together at near the speed of light, we can learn more about dark energy, dark matter, particles called Higgs bosons (the "God particle") that may or not give other particles mass, and other dimensions.
Yes! Other dimensions. The last time we definitively added a dimension was Einstein's addition of time to the standard three that make up physical space. It's time (ha!) for some more.
Unfortunately, these will probably be dimensions that exert previously unknown or unexplained influences on our universe, changing the very nature of our understanding of physics. Still cool, but not as cool as the kind of other dimensions where you fall through a rip in space/time and discover a world exactly like our own, except the British won the revolutionary war, men still wear fedoras, the Colonies are governed by Prime Minister Dan Quayle, and Justin Timberlake is a televangelist. The kind where you can tell people who were good in our world are now evil, because they have beards (see Fig. A).
So, here's to other dimensions! And may you some day find a world where Eddie Murphy movies are still good, where bands of child ninjas protect the innocent and prey upon criminals, and where dinosaurs still roam the earth!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #14 - The Love of God - Romans 5:8
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8
I could say some things here, but I prefer Rich Mullins' take:
----------------------------------------------------------
There's a wideness in God's mercy
I cannot find in my own
And He keeps His fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God
Now I've seen no band of angels
But I've heard the soldiers' songs
Love hangs over them like a banner
Love within them leads them on
To the battle on the journey
And it's never going to stop
Ever widening their mercies
And the fury of His love
Oh the love of God
The love of God
Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God
-----------------------------------------------------
Take a listen.
I could say some things here, but I prefer Rich Mullins' take:
----------------------------------------------------------
There's a wideness in God's mercy
I cannot find in my own
And He keeps His fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God
Now I've seen no band of angels
But I've heard the soldiers' songs
Love hangs over them like a banner
Love within them leads them on
To the battle on the journey
And it's never going to stop
Ever widening their mercies
And the fury of His love
Oh the love of God
The love of God
Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God
-----------------------------------------------------
Take a listen.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Fun Fact - The Universe Runs on Magic
So it turns out the universe doesn't work like it is supposed to. In our small little corner of the universe (i.e., the solar system, and the Milky Way galaxy it forms a very small part of) the great cosmic dance of stars and planets is arranged according to "fundamental forces." These include: strong nuclear force, electromagnetic energy, gravity, and something called weak force, which sounds like it would be simple, but is not. Anyway, these four forces, up until about ten years ago, were generally able to explain all the things that happen in the universe, even crazy things like black holes.
Given these fundamental forces, the general theory of the universe was that the universe started with a Big Bang, had been expanding ever since, that the expansion was slowing down, and eventually the universe would collapse back in on itself. Thank you Galileo, Newton, and Einstein.
But then, ten years ago, thanks to the Hubble space telescope, astrophysicists and astronomers made a fun discovery. And by fun I mean, mind-boggling. See the universe is expanding. But it isn't slowing down - it's speeding up.
"So what?," you may say. Well it turns out there is no explainable reason for that to happen. Imagine dropping a rock into a pond. It makes ripples. As the ripples go further out, they move slower. That's because things like water, rocks, and the light you see ripples by work according to the fundamental forces of the universe. Now imagine you drop a rock in the water and the further out the ripples go, the faster they go. That's what's happening in the universe.
There is no reason for that to happen. Scientists have proposed the existence of a new kind of energy - "dark energy" - which exists undetectable in the vacuum of space, does not interact with light, gravity, or any kind of matter we know anything about. It is this unknown and so far unknowable energy which somehow propels the ever-rapidly expanding universe.
Add to that the existence of "dark matter." Apparently, with the universe doing what it's doing, there has to be some other kind of matter in the universe for gravity to act on. There isn't enough non-dark matter in the universe - the kind that make up stars, planets, moons, and my dog - for gravity to work like it's supposed to. Our atoms should be flying apart. But, we're all still here, so there must be something else out there that is otherwise undetectable, but that the universe depends on to persist.
My first thought when hearing this was: why I have never heard about this before? Then I remembered that when astrophysicists talk, no one has any idea what they're talking about. Read this for an example.
But how great is that?! The universe as a whole plays by a completely different set of rules than everything else contained within the universe. I personally find that very exciting. But maybe I'm just weird.
P.S. Look at this -
96% of the universe is made of stuff we don't understand.
Isn't that great?!
Also, notice 3.6% of the universe is intergalactic gas. Inside, your inner 5 year-old is giggling.
P.S.S. The name of that graph is "Dark Matter Pie." That sounds delicious...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
What Are Little Girls Made Of? - Chocolate, Mostly...
Had an interesting experience Saturday. The three little girls next door came over to help make cookies. They are age 9, 7, and 5 - all very precocious and full of energy.
We've had some good times in the past. A year or so ago we found a very cute puppy in the front yard right before we were leaving for church. We put him in the little tiled area off the kitchen and headed for church, intent on finding the owner when we got back. When we returned, there was a note attached to the door:
"Daer Jenney,
That is are dog
Love, (the seven-year old)"
"Are dog" was later named "Coach Jack Bolton" by the girls. Coach Jack Bolton is the name of the father of Zach Efron's character in "High School Musical." Coach Jack Bolton may be the best name for a dog ever.
A few weeks back we got a handmade card in the mailbox:
"Happy Birthday -
Happy Birthday - Yuove been invite to Coach Jack Bolton's birthday August 23d 10:00-12:00 - Dog Birthday"
Unfortunately, we were not able to attend Dog Birthday, but it's always nice to be invited to things, and we sent over some dog biscuits as a gift.
Anyway, yesterday Jeni invited the girls over to help make Oreo truffles, which are ground up Oreos mixed with cream cheese, rolled into balls, and dipped in melted chocolate.
Observations:
* Excited little girls only have one volume.
* A pattern: Chocolate covered fingers must be licked. Licked fingers must be washed before touching new cookies. Cookies dipped in chocolate = chocolate covered fingers. Chocolate covered fingers must be licked. Repeat.
My favorite moment was when the oldest asked, "Are we having fun?" It wasn't one of those times when people are asking to lead you into saying you personally are having fun - she honestly wanted to know if she was having fun. "Yes. Yes you are," I said.
Anyway, the cookies were delicious, the girls were very happy to help, and it was a blast to see my wife wrangle small children with a cute apron on.
We've had some good times in the past. A year or so ago we found a very cute puppy in the front yard right before we were leaving for church. We put him in the little tiled area off the kitchen and headed for church, intent on finding the owner when we got back. When we returned, there was a note attached to the door:
"Daer Jenney,
That is are dog
Love, (the seven-year old)"
"Are dog" was later named "Coach Jack Bolton" by the girls. Coach Jack Bolton is the name of the father of Zach Efron's character in "High School Musical." Coach Jack Bolton may be the best name for a dog ever.
A few weeks back we got a handmade card in the mailbox:
"Happy Birthday -
Happy Birthday - Yuove been invite to Coach Jack Bolton's birthday August 23d 10:00-12:00 - Dog Birthday"
Unfortunately, we were not able to attend Dog Birthday, but it's always nice to be invited to things, and we sent over some dog biscuits as a gift.
Anyway, yesterday Jeni invited the girls over to help make Oreo truffles, which are ground up Oreos mixed with cream cheese, rolled into balls, and dipped in melted chocolate.
Observations:
* Excited little girls only have one volume.
* A pattern: Chocolate covered fingers must be licked. Licked fingers must be washed before touching new cookies. Cookies dipped in chocolate = chocolate covered fingers. Chocolate covered fingers must be licked. Repeat.
My favorite moment was when the oldest asked, "Are we having fun?" It wasn't one of those times when people are asking to lead you into saying you personally are having fun - she honestly wanted to know if she was having fun. "Yes. Yes you are," I said.
Anyway, the cookies were delicious, the girls were very happy to help, and it was a blast to see my wife wrangle small children with a cute apron on.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #13 - The Antichrist(s) -
For the 13th edition of "Bible Verses that Freak Me Out", let's take a look at the Anti-Christ!
First, take a minute and think about all the things we've heard about the Anti-Christ. If the movies are to be believed, he's the son of the devil. He'll establish some sort of world government. He might be Jewish, or the Pope, or Oprah. Perhaps you have received an email claiming the book of Revelations describes a person like Barack Obama as the Anti-Christ (I have received such).
And here's the part that freaks me out. None of the above has anything to do with what the Bible says about the term "antichrist." The word "antichrist"doesn't even appear in Revelation, which, by the way, does not have an "s" on the end.
There are a total of 4 verses in the Bible which talk about "antichrist," and they are all in 1 and 2 John. Here they are:
"Children, it is the last hour; and just as you have heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that this is the last hour." 1 John 2:18
"Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son." - 1 John 2:22
"Every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that is coming, and now is already in the world." - 1 John 4:3
"For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is the deceiver and the antichrist." - 2 John 7
In case you missed it, John describes plural antichrists as already present in the world in his day. He also helpfully defines the term - one who denies that Jesus is the Christ, and that Jesus has come in the flesh. And. That's. It.
So, now you can rest at ease. Neither Barack Obama, Oprah, or any of the Popes of the past two centuries claimed that Jesus was not the Christ, or that He did not come in the flesh. They all fail the Biblical definition of antichrist. There. Isn't that a relief?
All the other stuff generally associated with antichrist comes from mish-mashing together all the various apocalyptic material of the Bible, John Hagee or Jerry Falwell-style. It combines elements of the Beast from Revelation, the beast from Daniel, Paul's reference in 2 Thessalonians to a "man of lawlessness," and Jesus' warning in Matthew 24 that many would claim to be Christ (which literally happened both before Jesus' time and just after Him in ancient Israel). There's also a healthy dose of later tradition from folks like Hippolytus of Rome (A.D. 107-236), who said the Anti-Christ would be a Jew. Apparently he just made that up off the top of his head, which should serve as a warning for all of us who teach the Bible to at least have healthy skepticism for stuff we make up off the top of our heads.
Interestingly, several the earliest church fathers (except for Hippolytus) seemed to have a much better grasp of this whole concept. Polycarp (69-155 A.D.) said the term essentially meant anyone who deceives people about Jesus. John Chrysostum (347-407A.D.) said it wasn't something to worry about - that we should focus instead on doing what we know to do, and believing the truth.
And that's a theme that runs through the letters of John, the letters of Paul, the book of Revelation, and the gospels. Jesus Christ is the one who tells us the Truth, and to deceive about who He really is = anti-Christ.
So, since he brought the topic up, we'll let John have the last word:
"As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father." - 1 John 2:24
First, take a minute and think about all the things we've heard about the Anti-Christ. If the movies are to be believed, he's the son of the devil. He'll establish some sort of world government. He might be Jewish, or the Pope, or Oprah. Perhaps you have received an email claiming the book of Revelations describes a person like Barack Obama as the Anti-Christ (I have received such).
And here's the part that freaks me out. None of the above has anything to do with what the Bible says about the term "antichrist." The word "antichrist"doesn't even appear in Revelation, which, by the way, does not have an "s" on the end.
There are a total of 4 verses in the Bible which talk about "antichrist," and they are all in 1 and 2 John. Here they are:
"Children, it is the last hour; and just as you have heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that this is the last hour." 1 John 2:18
"Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son." - 1 John 2:22
"Every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that is coming, and now is already in the world." - 1 John 4:3
"For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is the deceiver and the antichrist." - 2 John 7
In case you missed it, John describes plural antichrists as already present in the world in his day. He also helpfully defines the term - one who denies that Jesus is the Christ, and that Jesus has come in the flesh. And. That's. It.
So, now you can rest at ease. Neither Barack Obama, Oprah, or any of the Popes of the past two centuries claimed that Jesus was not the Christ, or that He did not come in the flesh. They all fail the Biblical definition of antichrist. There. Isn't that a relief?
All the other stuff generally associated with antichrist comes from mish-mashing together all the various apocalyptic material of the Bible, John Hagee or Jerry Falwell-style. It combines elements of the Beast from Revelation, the beast from Daniel, Paul's reference in 2 Thessalonians to a "man of lawlessness," and Jesus' warning in Matthew 24 that many would claim to be Christ (which literally happened both before Jesus' time and just after Him in ancient Israel). There's also a healthy dose of later tradition from folks like Hippolytus of Rome (A.D. 107-236), who said the Anti-Christ would be a Jew. Apparently he just made that up off the top of his head, which should serve as a warning for all of us who teach the Bible to at least have healthy skepticism for stuff we make up off the top of our heads.
Interestingly, several the earliest church fathers (except for Hippolytus) seemed to have a much better grasp of this whole concept. Polycarp (69-155 A.D.) said the term essentially meant anyone who deceives people about Jesus. John Chrysostum (347-407A.D.) said it wasn't something to worry about - that we should focus instead on doing what we know to do, and believing the truth.
And that's a theme that runs through the letters of John, the letters of Paul, the book of Revelation, and the gospels. Jesus Christ is the one who tells us the Truth, and to deceive about who He really is = anti-Christ.
So, since he brought the topic up, we'll let John have the last word:
"As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father." - 1 John 2:24
Movie Moment: Violence!
My wife occasionally goes out of town for a weekend at a conference, or retreat of some kind. When she does, I like to buy some of those really cheap oven pizzas, and rent a bunch of movies that I want to see, but she doesn't. The consistent theme in such films is that they feature people committing acts of violence against each other. Now, Jeni is not against violence in movies per se. She liked "V for Vendetta" and all the "Lord of the Rings." I watched "The Departed", and even though it featured three of Jeni's top ten Least Favorite Things to see in Movies (1.horrible violence, 2.flagrant swearing, 3.an unhappy ending - the others are 4.gratuitous sex, 5.Japanese animation, 6.animals being hurt, 7.a heavy metal soundtrack, 8.a gratuitous hip hop soundtrack, 9.gratuitous vampires, and 10.Nicholas Cage as an action hero), I made her watch it because I knew she would think it was good. And even after seeing multiple shootings, arm breakings, face smashings, and one man dropped off a building, she agreed that it was a great film. In contrast, we started watching "Kung Fu Hustle," and one guy gets his leg chopped off with an axe and she refused to watch any more. So when it comes to violence, I have to pick and choose carefully.
Here are the movies I watched during my last bachelor weekend, and my favorite elements of each:
"Iron Monkey"
Hong Kong action. A teenage boy battling adults with an umbrella. An evil Shaolin monk with telescoping sleeves which could punch through walls. A climactic battle between three men balanced atop ten foot wooden posts - which were on fire.
"Once Upon a Time in the West"
Sergio Leone's very....slow....camera....moves (Westerns are about space). Henry Fonda as the bad guy. Henry Fonda's line, "Suspenders and a belt? You can't trust a man that can't trust his own pants." After which he shoots the man twice in the chest and once in the gut, severing his suspenders and belt, and making the dying man's pants fall down.
"Leon: The Professional"
Jean Reno as a hitman who apparently subsists entirely on milk. Gary Oldman as crazy bad guy. 12-year old Natalie Portman using a sniper rifle.
"Spirited Away"
Miyazaki masterpiece. Utterly bizarre and ultimately touching story about a haunted bathhouse, growing up, a boy who is also a dragon who is also a river(?!), living soot balls, a monster named "No-Face," and frog people. One the most original and engaging imaginary worlds I have ever seen.
My list of violent movies (or anime, or both) to see is quite long - so you'll probably see one of these again...
P.S. Guess who learned to use the link button! Thanks, Dani!
Here are the movies I watched during my last bachelor weekend, and my favorite elements of each:
"Iron Monkey"
Hong Kong action. A teenage boy battling adults with an umbrella. An evil Shaolin monk with telescoping sleeves which could punch through walls. A climactic battle between three men balanced atop ten foot wooden posts - which were on fire.
"Once Upon a Time in the West"
Sergio Leone's very....slow....camera....moves (Westerns are about space). Henry Fonda as the bad guy. Henry Fonda's line, "Suspenders and a belt? You can't trust a man that can't trust his own pants." After which he shoots the man twice in the chest and once in the gut, severing his suspenders and belt, and making the dying man's pants fall down.
"Leon: The Professional"
Jean Reno as a hitman who apparently subsists entirely on milk. Gary Oldman as crazy bad guy. 12-year old Natalie Portman using a sniper rifle.
"Spirited Away"
Miyazaki masterpiece. Utterly bizarre and ultimately touching story about a haunted bathhouse, growing up, a boy who is also a dragon who is also a river(?!), living soot balls, a monster named "No-Face," and frog people. One the most original and engaging imaginary worlds I have ever seen.
My list of violent movies (or anime, or both) to see is quite long - so you'll probably see one of these again...
P.S. Guess who learned to use the link button! Thanks, Dani!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Random Thoughts on Politics...
The past 100 years have been the only period in history where any significant portion of the world's population was able to participate in democracy. One hundred years ago the world still had several empires.
From that perspective, representative government could still be considered an experiment.
Winston Churchill said, "Democracy is the worst form of government - except for all the other ones."
I have a friend with the mellifluous name of Song who is a Ph.D. student and a Chinese national. He is 25 years old. He was living in Beijing during the 1988 Tienanmen Square incident. He was playing in the street when he thought he heard fireworks a few streets over, and his grandmother ran out and pulled him into the house. He has never voted for anything in his life - no local, regional, or national election, no school bonds, nothing. No one he knows from his country has ever voted for anything, ever.
It's easy to become cynical about our current political process. Considering the alternatives certainly helps with that.
From that perspective, representative government could still be considered an experiment.
Winston Churchill said, "Democracy is the worst form of government - except for all the other ones."
I have a friend with the mellifluous name of Song who is a Ph.D. student and a Chinese national. He is 25 years old. He was living in Beijing during the 1988 Tienanmen Square incident. He was playing in the street when he thought he heard fireworks a few streets over, and his grandmother ran out and pulled him into the house. He has never voted for anything in his life - no local, regional, or national election, no school bonds, nothing. No one he knows from his country has ever voted for anything, ever.
It's easy to become cynical about our current political process. Considering the alternatives certainly helps with that.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #12 - "Whoever wishes to be great" - Mark 11:42-45
"You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them. But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many." - Mark 11:42-45
This pronouncement appears in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. In Matthew and Mark, it's as Jesus and the disciples are walking toward Jerusalem before the Passion. In Mark, James and John ask for seats at the hands of Jesus in His kingdom. In Matthew, it's their mom who asks on their behalf. They are essentially asking to be Jesus' vice-president and prime minister.
In Luke, this is Jesus' response to the disciples' discussion of which of them is the greatest, which they are having at the Last Supper!
Jesus isn't just recommending a new model of leadership. It's a revolutionary way to live your life. Jesus has been demonstrating it to His disciples, and will soon make the climatic statement of what it means to live a sacrificial life.
The thing that freaks me out is asking whether I have actually bought into this. This is Christianity. This, if nothing else, is what it means to be a follower of Christ.
Oswald Chambers takes this principle in "My Utmost for His Highest" and applies it to John 7:38 - "He who believes in me...out of him will flow rivers of living water."
"Jesus did not say - 'he that believeth in Me shall realize the blessing of the fulness of God,' but - 'he that believeth in Me out of him shall escape everything he receives.' Our Lord's teaching is always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man; His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of God is self-expenditure. If we believe Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts. It is not that God makes us beautifully rounded grapes, but that He squeezes the sweetness out of us. Spiritually, we cannot measure our life by success, but only by what God pours through us, and we cannot measure that at all....God spilt the life of His Son that the world might be saved; are we prepared to spill out our lives for Him?"
This pronouncement appears in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. In Matthew and Mark, it's as Jesus and the disciples are walking toward Jerusalem before the Passion. In Mark, James and John ask for seats at the hands of Jesus in His kingdom. In Matthew, it's their mom who asks on their behalf. They are essentially asking to be Jesus' vice-president and prime minister.
In Luke, this is Jesus' response to the disciples' discussion of which of them is the greatest, which they are having at the Last Supper!
Jesus isn't just recommending a new model of leadership. It's a revolutionary way to live your life. Jesus has been demonstrating it to His disciples, and will soon make the climatic statement of what it means to live a sacrificial life.
The thing that freaks me out is asking whether I have actually bought into this. This is Christianity. This, if nothing else, is what it means to be a follower of Christ.
Oswald Chambers takes this principle in "My Utmost for His Highest" and applies it to John 7:38 - "He who believes in me...out of him will flow rivers of living water."
"Jesus did not say - 'he that believeth in Me shall realize the blessing of the fulness of God,' but - 'he that believeth in Me out of him shall escape everything he receives.' Our Lord's teaching is always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man; His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of God is self-expenditure. If we believe Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts. It is not that God makes us beautifully rounded grapes, but that He squeezes the sweetness out of us. Spiritually, we cannot measure our life by success, but only by what God pours through us, and we cannot measure that at all....God spilt the life of His Son that the world might be saved; are we prepared to spill out our lives for Him?"
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