A Rap Song About Country Music

Last April my friend Brian and I challenged each other to write a song every other day for thirty days (what this meant was that I would write lyrics every other day, and that Brian would write music every day, since he is a very fine musician). The result was a tremendous work of artistic elegance that I hope you'll get to hear some day. One song that very few people have heard, though, is the one I'm sharing with you now. I think, in all humility, that it is the pinnacle of my song writing thus far. It is a love song. It is a hip hop song. It is about country music. The italicized portions below are intended to be spoken. The first two lines of the chorus are to the tune of "The Farmer and the Cowman Can Be Friends" from Oklahoma.

Genre Bender - or
How I Learned to Relax and Love Country Music

Verse 1:
Yo, the hood I’m from ain’t a hood at all
Cause you sound right to me if you got a drawl
Grew up on a black top road in the sticks
And I never knew a gangsta who wasn’t a hick
And e’rebody I knew in the boondocks
Turns the radio on and says “Country rocks”
But all the way up through my high school days
I couldn’t help it but be amazed
How anyone listened to country sangin’
With the steel guitar and that awful twangin’
See, early on I was down with the ghetto groove
And the phat bass beats that’ll make you move
But the country fans couldn’t understand
How you play in Texas without a fiddle in the band
So I gave it up and “Shove it all, G!”
If country playing don’t bother to call me
Then sumthin’ happened that rocked my world
I fell in love in love with a country girl
Yeah, she stole my heart and she took no pity
So I guess I better learn to love Conway Twitty

Chorus:
Oh Hip Hop and Country/Western can be friends
Whatever kind of a record that you spin
I’ll be in that mix that you got in your system
Rap or Country I’ll be listenin’
County line or out the hood
West Philly or Nashville it’s all good

Verse 2:
Yeah this girl came in and she changed my life
Like Hank Senior I saw the light
“Love can build a bridge” the Judds had it right
So I listened to all the LP’s in sight
George Straight, George Jones, Clint Black, Vince Gill
Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, Loretta Lynn, Faith Hill
Randy Travis, Marty Robbins, Mel Tillis
Till my hop hop friends say ‘Whatchoo talking bout Willis?”
That ain’t what Nelly meant by ‘Country Grammar’!”
But I dig the Wu Tan Clan and Alabama
I dig Kenny Rodgers and Jay-Z
Dr. Dre and Kenny Chesney
Juvenile and Diamond Rio
Tennessee Ernie Ford and Coolio
Fifty Cent and that Johnny Paycheck
Down with thug though I might be a redneck
Yeah, I learned to listen and love both sides
Even if I stand out like Charley Pride
Rhymes are the thing that I dig on man
Whether they from Busta or Leann

Chorus:
Oh Hip Hop and Country/Western can be friends
Whatever kind of a record that you spin
I’ll be in that mix that you got in your system
Rap or Country I’ll be listenin’
County line or out the hood
Compton or Nashville it’s all good

(Yo yo, because this is a hip hop song – I am legally obligated to tell you how awesome I am – in verse - We gon’ do it like this!!)

Go cowgirl It’s yer berfday
We gonna barn dance like its yer berfday
You’ll find me on the farm
Dancin’ in the barn
Dosi do-ing with my square dancin’ partner on my arm
Just a good old boy never meaning any harm
And the brush pile bonfire’ll keep us warm

Don’t rock that jukebox and I don’t mean maybe
Ain’t just the Judds say “Mama he’s crazy”
Yeah I’m crazy like Patsy Cline
Cause I walk after midnight and I walk the line
All my rowdy friends have settled down
And though my mama told me not to bring my gun to town
I’m a branded man with friends in low places
The fugitive who needs wide open spaces
An Indian outlaw with a horse and lasso
Amarillo by mornin’ then down to El Paso
Texas playboy like Bob Wills’ crew
Go boot scootin’ under that neon moon
Go 9 to 5 then on the road again
But trust me baby and stand by your man
Behind closed doors is where my best is
Don’t take your love to town cause I’m young and restless
We’re two of a kind workin’ on a full house
So I got to ask how do ya like me now?
When the thunder rolls through Luckenbach
Then I’ll get your achy breaky heart to rock
May not have much or be Big and Rich
But like Allison Krauss I got perfect pitch
I don’t need a bunch of Dixie Chicks
Forever and ever amen baby I won’t switch
I will always love you stand right next to me
I know you think my tractor’s sexy

(Gotta get that cash ya’ll – that Johnny Cash...
Yo this goes out to all the Urban people- the Keith Urban people – word to your Memaw.)