Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #4 - "Live with your wives" - 1 Peter 3:7

"You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." - 1 Peter 3:7

Now, most people - particularly female people - tend to freak out about the first half of this verse. Whatever "weaker vessel" actually means, it doesn't come off as a compliment. People who try to defend it end up having to admit that yes, childbirth is something that requires great strength, and any number of other things that throw "weaker vessel" to the curb. But even though the phrase is indelicate, the command around it is certainly pro-wife. Basically, the verse says don't treat your wife like she's a guy (can I get an "Amen?").

The best explanation I heard of this was to imagine a wife as a Waterford crystal vase, and the husband as an Igloo cooler. Both are useful (and can be used for similar things, i.e. containing stuff). Both can receive honor (We both love our Igloo cooler - if we had a crystal vase, I know we'd love it, too.) But you can't treat them the same way and expect the same results.

But the "weaker vessel" part isn't the part that freaks me out - it's the second half. Read it again. If I don't treat my wife with honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, God won't hear my prayers. Well, yikes again.

I do not believe there is a formula of prayer - certain words in certain combinations with certain feelings attached that guarantee our audience with God. In fact Jesus body-slammed this kind of prayer in the Sermon on the Mount. His view of prayer seemed to be to get us into God's perspective on things, ask Him in faith for the things we need, and ask in all things that His will be done.

Well, apparently part of God's will for my life is to treat my wife with honor. If I don't do that, it doesn't make much sense for me to ask that God's will be done in other areas of my life, because if I treat my wife dishonorably it's clear that I don't give flying flip about God's will. Just another way that the marriage realtionship serves as a spiritual barometer - a truth that continues to freak me out.