Belated Purpose Statement: Movie Moment

I love movies.

They are the twentieth century art form - a fantastic blend of all the arts of drama, stagecraft, music, art, and photography. A collaborative effort of (usually) hundreds of people to create a lasting work. They can be ridiculous or sublime.

Basically, I really love movies, and like talking about them. This seems like a good place...

And as long as we're here, did you know Gary Oldman was in "The Scarlet Letter?" The 1995 one with Demi Moore and Robert Duvall? The one that was really, really, bad? The one that completely changed the ending of the book, and I'm not saying the end of the book was good, because it wasn't, and I'm still not sure what exactly happens in it, but still, it wasn't what happened in the movie.

I hadn't thought about that movie for years (thank God), but I was looking at Oldman's filmography after being impressed by him again in "The Dark Knight" and lo and behold, there's the "Scarlet Letter." I remember the one redeeming part of that terrible, terrible film being the guy who played the minister, and there's the reason - because it was Gary Oldman.

Other Gary Oldman favorites: "Batman Begins" (of course), "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (make sure to include Gary in your 'people who have played werewolves' list), "The Contender", "The Fifth Element", "Lost in Space" (shut up - I liked it!), "Air Force One", and "Leon: The Professional."

Can't Believe I Haven't Seen These: "Immortal Beloved" (Beethoven!), "Bram Stoker's Dracula" (Dracula!), and "JFK" (Lee Harvey Oswald!)

Belated Purpose Statement: Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #6 - "Wanting to have their ears tickled" - 1 Timothy 4:3-4

A couple of weeks ago I was struck with the idea that there are a lot of verses in the Bible which are difficult. To paraphrase F.F. Bruce in "Hard Sayings of Jesus", some verses are difficult because we don't know what they mean, and some are difficult because we know exactly what they mean.

As an experiment, I read through the Sermon on the Mount with the youth group, and asked them to mentally keep track of how many times they thought to themselves, "Golly, I hope Jesus doesn't mean that exactly like it sounded." We came up with about 20 - in just three chapters.

We all have our favorite Bible verses that bring comfort and meaning to our lives. But I think that it is a healthy exercise to confront those parts of scripture that make us distinctly uncomfortable. Finley Peter Dunne said the job of the newspaper was to "comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable." (He was being sarcastic when he said that. It was his way of saying the media of the time had assumed too much power for themselves.) But I think that phrase describes the role of the Bible pretty well - it is the role of the prophet, or the prophetic text, in a nutshell.

So here's a Bible verse that freaks me out, and encourages us to look closely at the other verses that afflict us as well:

"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires; and will turn their ears from the truth, and will turn aside to myths." - 1 Timothy 4:3-4

Paul's challenge to Timothy in this situation is "Preach the word!", "endure hardship," and "do the work of an evangelist." Not a bad challenge at all.

Likely Reasons An Angel Would Smack You

So yesterday, we discovered that Peter was smacked in the side by an angel while being rescued from prison. We have no explicit evidence to determine why God's messenger resorted to physical violence - but here are some guesses, broken down into categories.

Biblical Evidence:
* Peter is a very heavy sleeper. Like a rock, you might say. See the Garden of Gethsemane incident.
* Angels have nasty tempers. See the Balaam incident, and the incident with John the Baptist's dad.
* Peter has a nasty temper. See the "cut off the high priest's servant's ear" incident. The angel had to smack him while he was still chained, or risk a tag-back. Incidentally, Peter also has terrible aim. He was probably trying to behead that dude, and instead Van Gogh-ed him.

Theological Supposition:
* Angels do not often get the chance to physically interact with human beings. This one wanted to take advantage of the situation.

Argument From Silence:
* There's more to the conversation that didn't get included. Perhaps it went something like this:

And behold, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared and a light shone in the cell; and the angel spake saying "Peter, awake, for the hour of thy deliverance has come." But Peter stirred not.

And the angel spake a second time, saying, "Wake Peter, I am the angel Zadkiel, and I have been sent by the Almighty to release you from your imprisonment." But Peter didst mumble something about being hungry enough to eat a sheet full of animals, and slumbered on.

And the angel didst burn with anger, and spake a third time, saying, "Simon Peter, I swear by all that is holy, if thou dost not wake this instant I shall beat thee like thy stole something." And when Peter didst snore a snore with the sound of many waters, the angel hauled off and belted him one in the kidney and woke him up, saying "Get up quickly."
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I hope it was the last one, and now in heaven, Peter still gets a little nervous when he and that angel pass each other on the way to worship service.

Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #5 - Kicked By An Angel - Acts 12:7

"And behold, an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared, and a light shone in the cell; and he struck Peter's side and roused him, saying, "Get up quickly." And his chains fell off his hands." - Acts 12:7

Let's review...
Peter is in prison after the death of James, likely facing execution. In the middle of the night an angel appears, shines a bright light, and proceeds to smack Peter in the side to wake him up.

Awesome.

I like to think the angel kicked him, because "Kicked By An Angel" is funny.

I just know there's more to this story. Now, angels in the Bible aren't usually the comforting spirits or delightful cherubs we've grown used to imagining. Whenever angels appear in the Bible, the first thing they have to say to people is something along the lines of, "Please calm down." Either that or they already have their swords drawn and let that speak for them. Regardless, when angels show up in the Bible people freak out and want to die. ("Heavenly host" is a military term, after all.)

Come back to tomorrow for "Likely Reasons An Angel Would Smack You."

Better Living Through Zoology: The Capybara and Intellectual Pride

As I mentioned yesterday, I tend to hang on to information. My wife and my sister like to remind me that most of the information that manages to get logged away is of a "useless," or at least trivial nature. The place where this rears its ugly head most often is the zoo.

I am a zoo nerd. I have always loved animals, and if I wasn't in ministry I'd probably be a zoo keeper. So, I have a difficult time when the people around me at the zoo have no idea what they are looking at. At the Cameron Park Zoo in Waco, this happens every time we get to the South American enclosure. The picture above doesn't do this animal justice. It is about the size of a calf - a very fat calf. About three and half feet high, and two and half feet wide, it is the world's largest rodent. You can't miss it, and when small children see it, they instinctively ask mom/dad/grandma, "What is that?" I appreciate the people who are honest and say, "I don't know!" It infuriates me for some reason when people begin to guess - usually that it is some kind of wild pig. And from deep within me rises the incredible urge to turn to complete strangers and say, "Actually, it's a capybara - the world's largest rodent. It is an excellent swimmer, and in Venezuela people sometimes hunt them on horseback."

I would like to tell you that this urge stems from my deep-seated desire to be helpful and from my belief that education lifts the soul of the learner. But really, it comes from arrogance and the visceral thrill of "I know something you don't know, la la la la la!"

You see, the capybara at the Waco zoo likes to hang out in the shady spot in the right corner of the enclosure. The sign explaining "what manner of creature he be" is over on the left hand side. So, after a brief moment of perplexity, most people walk over there, look at the sign, and exclaim, "Says here it's a Capi -bear - uh!" (It's actually "bar-uh", but whatever.) If I can keep my mouth shut a little while longer, mom/dad/grandma has the pleasure of discovering the answer for themselves - or making their child read the sign and passing the pleasure of discovery on to them. And that makes for a much better day at the zoo for everyone.

But man, the time we were at the Ft. Worth Zoo, and the wallabies and the kangaroos were in the same enclosure and three people in a row pointed out the wallaby to their kids and said, "Look at the baby kangaroo!" - That just about drove me insane.

And Now, A Word From George MacDonald

From "A Book of Strife" :

In holy things may be unholy greed.
Thou giv'st a glimpse of many a lovely thing
Not to be stored for use in any mind,
But only for the present spiritual need.
The holiest bread, if hoarded, soon will breed
The mammon-moth, the having-pride, I find.
'Tis momently Thy heart gives out heart-quickening.
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This caught me off guard when I read it. I am a natural hoarder, and perhaps most avidly a hoarder of information. I had not considered the spiritual implications of holding on to every piece of insight or revelation. And I think it's appropriate that it wasn't an essay that called this to my attention, but a poem.

Bible Verses That Freak Me Out #4 - "Live with your wives" - 1 Peter 3:7

"You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." - 1 Peter 3:7

Now, most people - particularly female people - tend to freak out about the first half of this verse. Whatever "weaker vessel" actually means, it doesn't come off as a compliment. People who try to defend it end up having to admit that yes, childbirth is something that requires great strength, and any number of other things that throw "weaker vessel" to the curb. But even though the phrase is indelicate, the command around it is certainly pro-wife. Basically, the verse says don't treat your wife like she's a guy (can I get an "Amen?").

The best explanation I heard of this was to imagine a wife as a Waterford crystal vase, and the husband as an Igloo cooler. Both are useful (and can be used for similar things, i.e. containing stuff). Both can receive honor (We both love our Igloo cooler - if we had a crystal vase, I know we'd love it, too.) But you can't treat them the same way and expect the same results.

But the "weaker vessel" part isn't the part that freaks me out - it's the second half. Read it again. If I don't treat my wife with honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, God won't hear my prayers. Well, yikes again.

I do not believe there is a formula of prayer - certain words in certain combinations with certain feelings attached that guarantee our audience with God. In fact Jesus body-slammed this kind of prayer in the Sermon on the Mount. His view of prayer seemed to be to get us into God's perspective on things, ask Him in faith for the things we need, and ask in all things that His will be done.

Well, apparently part of God's will for my life is to treat my wife with honor. If I don't do that, it doesn't make much sense for me to ask that God's will be done in other areas of my life, because if I treat my wife dishonorably it's clear that I don't give flying flip about God's will. Just another way that the marriage realtionship serves as a spiritual barometer - a truth that continues to freak me out.