Magical, Mythical, Marvelous Milk

Milk is good. Cookies, cake, pancakes, meatloaf, chicken and dumplings, and all forms of pasta aren't really complete, in my opinion, without a cold glass of milk.

Lots of people like milk. Every time I go to the grocery store, there's always more than one person in the milk section (hereafter referred to as "Milk") picking their preferred percentage. "Milk" is a strange place. It's not like "Bread", where everyone basically knows what they want and just grab. It's not like "Eggs" or "Fruit" where people take their time because they don't want defective merchandise. And it's not like "Cheese", where people are just overwhelmed with choices.

People hover around "Milk" for one reason - "sell by" dates. At the milk factory, the sell-by fairies hover about, stamping the jugs in their purplish ink with the date at which the milk inside will become no good. It's magic. Sometimes a sell-by fairy will accidentally release too much magic, and make the milk inside invincible.

At least, I think that's what the other people in "Milk" are thinking. Each person seems to pick up and inspect a half-dozen cartons, or reach deep into the back of "Milk", for the magical milk jug that won't expire until next Christmas.

Maybe these people have burned in the past by poor "Milk" management. Maybe they grabbed the first carton they saw, got home, and realized their milk had already expired. But - I always grab the first carton I see, and the only time a jug of milk has gone bad on me is when I've gone out of town and left my milk at home alone.

My friends, there are no sell-by fairies. There is no magical milk. There's no reason to cry over...unspoiled milk. Together, we can keep "Milk" loiter-free.

P.S. Soy milk. Milk does not come from beans. Milk comes from mammals. Best I can figure, juice comes from beans. Soy milk is bean juice. Goodnight.